[sarasruthi]

My boyfriend proposed to me, and tried a lot to have me in his life.

We don't have any similar hobbies or likes. We can't even watch sports or cinema together. He can't mingle with people and he doesn't even have close friends.

So I thought it was going to be very tough and didn't accept his proposal. But he tried a lot and he promised me he will change. As no one can get 100% perfect man and as he is loving me very much I accepted.

We are in a relationship now for 2-1/2 years. Now I love him a lot, more than myself, but he never tried to change, and I am not even getting moral support from him. I am feeling like I am missing everything in life.

If everything is fine and comfortable with his life, only then will he think about me. He always think about himself. He doesn't even listen to me when I'm talking to him, and fails to even answer me properly.

I asked him so many times to change, and he never listened me. He said he will understand if I ask him patiently. When I do ask him patiently, he argues or ignores me. If I start asking him seriously, it end up being a big fight.

All of a sudden he is saying that he can't concentrate on his career because of this and moreover he can't spend at least 10 min/day with me as his career is more important to him right now. Recently he told me everything clearly:

1. His career is more important than me.
2. He doesn't feel sorry for me when I am crying.
3. It's too difficult for him to change
4. Now he only has 50% love for me.

If I want to stay with him, without asking for anything from him, then he can stay with me or else he wants me to leave.

So I tried very hard to stay away from him. But I can't. So I told him that I will stay in his life without asking for anything.

His previous behavior and his words hurt me a lot. Although I came into his life now I am insecure. He is saying that he will stay with me if I don't argue with him.

I tried a lot, but I can't stay away from him.

1. Can people forget the tough and rough times between them and stay happily?
2. Do they always remember the bad words and things which they did and said in anger?
3. Will I feel secure after some positive time in this relationship?
4. Do you suggest I breakup with him?
5. How do I keep away from him?
6. Is it possible for a person to change his mentality?

Thank you

[smoothy]

I have a question. What exactly do you see in him anyway? I see nothing compelling or redeeming. I see no reason for you to be wasting your time on him.

Unless you really enjoy being a door mat and that's all you want out of life. Because that's all you can hope for with him.

People don't "change"... they are who they are... and always will be without a near death experience changing how they view life.

Waiting for such change is an exercise in futility. Expecting it to happen is insanity.

There are plenty of guys out there who would appreciate you. Why waste your life on one that doesn't.

[odinn7]

I'm not sure... did you actually get married to him?

He sounds like a complete as*h*** and I can't understand why you're doing this to yourself. He's not changing and you're losing the person who you are or were. Dump him and move on. It may not seem easy to do at first but you'll be better off and you'll look back on this and wonder why you ever put up with him.

[Fr_Chuck]

First it appears he is being totally honest, which is better than lying and then not changing.

1. many men hold their careers above their families, and latter regret it.
2 it is hard and almost impossible to "change" we are who we are, so no relationship should ever be based on the desire or hope that someone will change

3. There is no such thing as 50 percent love, one either loves or don't love, There is different ways we express it, and things we prefer or love more.

So if you have no self respect, don't mind never being important, glad to only be supported when he desires and always being threated to do things his way or else.
Then you have what you want. A relationship with him