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    JustAsking09's Avatar
    JustAsking09 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 14, 2011, 10:35 PM
    Why I don't feel pleasure when my boyfriend is giving me oral sex?
    Hi, I would like to know why I don't feel any pleasure when my boyfriend is giving me oral sex? We being together for a while now and when he goes down there, I just feel his tongue moving and wet but that's it... not good feels from it? Is it because I'm not turn on or not in the mood? What going on? I would love to feel some good stuff... and even when we do the 69 position I can feel he's loving it but I wish I can feel that pleasure too! Help please! :) thank you!

    DeenaC
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #2

    Aug 14, 2011, 11:18 PM

    Hello Deena:

    Maybe he's doing it wrong... Do you feel pleasure when you TOUCH yourself down there?? IF so, maybe you can direct him to that spot.

    excon
    JustAsking09's Avatar
    JustAsking09 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Aug 14, 2011, 11:34 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by excon View Post
    Hello Deena:

    Maybe he's doing it wrong... Do you feel pleasure when you TOUCH yourself down there??? IF so, maybe you can direct him to that spot.

    excon
    Yes I do, but also I feel good when he doing it... I don't know what is it! The thing is that when we do it we are like in a rush all the time, we are dealing with the long relationship thing, so for example I was with him like a month ago, and his mom was stying with him so we were like trying to do it before everyone came, so I don't know if its because I'm to worried people will come... I just don't know... and I want to feel good when it comes to oral sex... :(
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #4

    Aug 15, 2011, 05:41 AM

    How old are you, how old is he?
    JustAsking09's Avatar
    JustAsking09 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Aug 15, 2011, 08:40 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    How old are you, how old is he?
    I'm 20 and he's 24... I haven't done it yet, we only do oral and masturbate each other but that's it...
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #6

    Aug 15, 2011, 09:09 AM

    Can be a combination of things... from you aren't really in the mood (being ready and in the mood are two separate things for a woman) to he doesn't have a clue what he's doing and everything in between.

    Its not exactly intuitive for a guy to do... and every woman likes it done differently.

    excon also made a good point... if you can easily masturbate yourself then the problem points towards him, if you can't perhaps it helps to learn what you like so you are able to guide him better.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #7

    Aug 15, 2011, 09:37 AM

    Are you telling him exactly what you want, and exactly how where you want it done. You can not expect him to know without you guiding him
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #8

    Aug 15, 2011, 10:31 AM

    If you are worried about people coming in or having to rush what you are doing, then it probably won't be pleasurable to you. Unless you are an exhibitionist or extremely in the mood and ready, environment is a major factor in relaxing and enjoying sexual contact of any type.

    It sounds like there may not be any build up to the oral sex other than taking your clothes off. Even oral sex and mutual masturbation take foreplay and paying attention to other erogenous zones than your crotches. The brain is the biggest zone and often the most forgotten one especially in females. If it isn't getting into the act, then other parts won't feel as good.

    It maybe he needs to refine his technique. The 'tip of the tongue and teasing' can be better than the 'dog lapping up water' method.

    Not all women like to receive oral sex. It does not mean there is anything wrong with you. I know porn and other erotica make it look like you should enjoy oral sex. However, it may not be what you find stimulating or it could be over-stimulating the area causing the nerve endings to react in a less than positive way.

    It may be something you find more enjoyable as you get older and your body changes. It may be with more time for experimentation you find what works for you.

    Quite frankly, taking your time will probably do a lot to help you relax and enjoy.

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