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Hbk · Aug 11, 2011, 01:31 PM

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for just about 2 and a half years. When we first started dating we had a few moments of akward sex due to us being friends before. Eventually we got to have better sexual expernices and had in my opinion a healthy sex life ( 3-5 times a week). Unfourtnantly I have been dealing with health complications for about a year and a half. Due to this when I am feeling at my worst m sex drive is low and m ability to have sex is greatly dimished. When this occurs sex is very disappointing. Up intill recently
Many of my issues were gone and I was healthy. We were having good and frequent sex. However for about a month I have been feeling off again. Basically due to all the bad performances it seems that my girlfriend just is not interested in sex anymore and I'm starting to feel that I may have ruined sex between us. I want to know if anyone has advice on how I can get her attracted to me and interested in sex again. On a side note I have always been a Generous lover

Synnen · Aug 11, 2011, 01:36 PM

How old are you both?

Hbk · Aug 11, 2011, 01:38 PM

25 me and 23 her

smoothy · Aug 11, 2011, 03:15 PM

Focus less on the sex and more on the rest of the relationship.

I've got a feeling she might feel that to you everything revolves around sex (like in the main course)... rather than it being dessert. Perhaps she is at a stage she's expecting it to be taken to the next level... I.E. engagement... and starting to feel like its going nowhere and is just a booty call if she doesn't get it.

But the only way to know for certain... is to get it from her own mouth.

There is no one way to do it... at this stage of the relationship... its all about everything. You aren't dealing with another guy after all (flash some skin and bang we are ready)... women are complicated creatures... its going to take a lot to get everything going right. Best way is to find out what that is and what might be wrong is communication...

And listen... don't just talk.

Hbk · Aug 11, 2011, 03:29 PM

Normally I would agree with you but me and my girlfriend are good in all other aspects. What makes this issue stand out is that we talk about anything and everything and try to solve it but with this issue if I try to bring it up she doesn't want to talk about it. What I think is that she doesn't want to hurt my feelings by bringing it up. Im not ashamed to admit it when I'm dealing with my issues my sexual performance suck and I'm sure are not enjoyable

Synnen · Aug 11, 2011, 03:29 PM

What ELSE is going on in your relationship?

Sex for women is almost never about intercourse--and neither is LACK of sex.

Stress, new jobs, new roles, dealing with depression (yours OR hers), and being thought of as nothing more than a sex object are ALL things that are turn offs.

So.. what else has changed in your lives lately? I bet you dollars to donuts this has NOTHING to do with sex, and EVERYTHING to do with something outside of the bedroom.

Hbk · Aug 11, 2011, 03:57 PM

Much has changed but all in positive ways. We both genuninly enjoy each others company more than ever before. Im starting a new business and she is on her last year of school. While stress does rear its head every once in a while overall its all good. The biggest scare to me is that I'm turning into just her best friend instead of her best friend that she is romantic with

shush_woman · Aug 12, 2011, 06:56 AM

I think if there are problems then it is likely to be that she is worried about hurting you. I would like to ask... why are you posting this question online and not asking your girlfriend about this? At the end of the day you will only get clear answer's from her, not randomers online. You need to talk openly and calmly and assure her you won't get upset at her. You say you want to know how to get her interested in sex.. ask HER! That's all I can say really.