[goodwillwinout]

I have two kids, boy-10 and girl-8, with this man. We were never married. I moved from FL to PA with my fiancée and our children 7 years ago, with his permission. He married his wife two months after our split and has a seven month old son with her. Since then he has had no contact with the children, and moved, changed phone numbers, etc. to avoid paying child support. My daughter calls my fiancée (whom I have been with for seven years) dad. My son does not, because we don't force that on them. Also, I have NEVER said a bad word about their father to them, because that's not fair. I finally found him, took him to court, and got child support after 7 years in March. He said he never paid because I wouldn't let him see them, but I have texts from him saying he admits he never tried.

My daughter said she wanted to see him this summer. We had a couple supervised visits (dinner @ restaurants), and several phone calls in preparation. He said he wanted to take her to FL with him for a month. She wanted to go, so I said yes. We had no custody agreement, and if I would have gone to court at that time, the summer would have been over, and she would have had to wait until next year. He promised me he would bring her back, stay with her while she was there (not leave her with his wife), etc. The visit was for one month, and he was supposed to bring her back in his semi truck, the same way he took her, since his boss gave him permission. They left July 9.

I came to find out that he dropped her with his wife and took back out on the road for two weeks. Also, he never had permission (or insurance) to take her in the truck, and he says he can't bring her back in it, and can't afford to send her back I bought her a plane ticket, but he then refused to send her back. He says she doesn't want to return. He's called Children and Youth on us, saying we abuse our kids. He's trying to turn her against me, saying she can't go outside because I will send people to snatch her and bring her back home, that I do drugs, and that I'm generally a bad person. He says the schools are better and more fun in FL, he's going to get her a horse, and that when I spank her I'm abusing her. I call for 3 or 4 days and they won't pick up the phone. When she does get to talk, it's for ten minutes, and I'm on speakerphone. I think she's afraid of me at this point, and is heavily coached as to what to say to me.

The father's mother is wealthy, and has hired him a powerhouse attorney. I am NOT wealthy, and I have to represent myself, as the local legal service has a full caseload. Yesterday, he offered me $10,000 from his mother to sign away custody (there is NO amount that would make me do that).

My question is, since he had nothing to do with them for seven years, and only started talking to them after he was forced to pay child support, do you think he will win custody? My son is autistic, has a psychiatrist, a special school, and therapy, and if he took him, it would set him back YEARS. He doesn't seem to want him, only my daughter, and I think it's because the child support will balance out. It's funny that he says he needs to protect HER from my abuse, but is OK with leaving the "problem child" with me. Also, it's fishy that he only called Children and Youth when it was time to return her, though he says she told him about this abuse on the way to Florida. I'm worried because he has so much more cash than I, but I think his motives speak for themselves. Any advice would be appreciated.

Thank you.

[GV70]

My question is, since he had nothing to do with them for seven years, and only started talking to them after he was forced to pay child support, do you think he will win custody?

No one can predict what the judge will decide.I have seen cases where a parent was "stripped" from physical custody because was religious,and another parent was "stripped" from physical custody because she was not religious:eek:
My advice:ask a Guardian at litem to be appointed and also ask for parental evaluation.

[twinkiedooter]

My advice:ask a Guardian at litem to be appointed and also ask for parental evaluation.

Guardian ad litem and parental evaluation is not free contrary to some people's thinking. Be careful what you ask for as your entire private life at home will be thoroughly scrutenized during this procedure.

If you have no money and represent yourself and his folks have all the money to help him, you just might lose due to this fact. I've seen stupider stuff happen once a Guardian ad litem gets involved in any child custody matters.

[GV70]

Guardian ad litem and parental evaluation is not free contrary to some people's thinking. Be careful what you ask for as your entire private life at home will be thoroughly scrutenized during this procedure.

If you have no money and represent yourself and his folks have all the money to help him, you just might lose due to this fact. I've seen stupider stuff happen once a Guardian ad litem gets involved in any child custody matters.

Generally, each parent is responsible for one-half of the GAL's total costs and to the evaluator's costs.


By the way you may file in Pennsylvania for custody proceeding. Have in mind that Pennsylvania IS the home state thus Pennsylvania has jurisdiction over the case under the UCCJEA/The Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction And Enforcement Act/
http://www.law.upenn.edu/bll/archive...nal1997act.htm
Which county?