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    shellysmith's Avatar
    shellysmith Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 31, 2011, 04:07 PM
    should i give him a second chance?
    I've been on and off with this guy for seven years ( were 21yrs old), we were going to get married and then I got a secondment job in australia for six months and he supported me and off I went, but I got cold feet and wasn't happy with him ( because of our past, it haunts me) so I left. Month later met someone new, the whole time he kept emailing,texting me telling me he loved me etc, I was honest and told him I met someone new. He lied and said he wasn't with anyone but when I got home I found out he shagged loads of girls went off the rails and now has a baby with some random girl from a one night stand. But he still says he loves me and wants us to get back together because he doesn't want to give up on us, I said no anyway and he keeps saying I will regret it and he still loves me. Did I do the right thing?
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Jul 31, 2011, 04:17 PM

    Only YOU know if you did the right thing. If you are here asking for opinions, I suspect that you did.

    Could you live with someone who lied to you about what he was doing when you were apart AND has a baby with some "random girl from a one night stand"? By the way, I work in the legal profession. 90% of men say it was a one night stand whether it was or not.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
    Entomology Expert
     
    #3

    Jul 31, 2011, 04:39 PM
    If you have to ask us, you already know the answer. Consider also that you had found someone else because you weren't happy with him... and this was before you found out he lied about seeing other women.
    Mrs.Monster's Avatar
    Mrs.Monster Posts: 26, Reputation: -1
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    #4

    Aug 1, 2011, 12:52 AM
    You did right hun, he now has a baby and you deserve much better :)
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #5

    Aug 1, 2011, 07:58 AM
    It sounds like the past problems were the main reason you split with him, plus the difficulty of being in a long distance relationship, and not having the opportunity to work through and past the problems that already existed.

    You have been with him since you were 14 years old, and he was most likely your first. At any age, a seven year relationship with enough trouble to break you up after all that time, must have been significant.

    It is all too easy to return to what was familiar, no matter what has transpired during the time you were apart. But keep in mind, that should you resume your relationship with him, you also pick up where you left off, which now includes a baby he had with another woman.

    And more problems on top of problems.

    My advice to you is to leave the past in the past, and let him go.

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