[Jesse121424]

Up until I was 5 my parents were separated, and my father lived in the US, while my mom went to live in japan to live a better life. Me, well I lived with my grandmother until then in Korea. It was really not that great, my mom sometimes sent some money for my upbringing, but we had no contact from my dad until then. Well eventually when I was around 6 yrs old, my mom finally found him, and went back to live with him in the US. They asked for me back from my grandmother, and I was sent back to them via airplane with an associate of my dads. Well after that we lived in a small apartment. It was only me and my mom though since my dad would leave for very long time and come back once in a week for his apparently hard job. Well we eventually kept switching until we finally settled on a small house and from what I remember my dad would steal my mothers money to only repay her a week or more later, sometimes never paying her back, of course she worked also. Well my mom getting tired of his retartedness finally decided to search the house for some sign of where he might have put the money while he was out, and we found a stack of bank letters showing all the money that were taken out. Well my father apparently knew her bank account information and every time she deposited the money he would go there and take it out, paying her back with her own money. She wasn't smart enough to check her back every once in a while, so she finally saw that he had stolen all her money leaving her with a 0 balance. Well he is a heavy smoker and he also drank heavily when he felt like it but this finally made my mother snap and she kept telling me to be successful in life etc, etc and not be like my father. Well she also thought she was too old now to get married and she did not want to be alone so she decided not to divorce him since she wasn't smart enough to know how, effectively making her my fathers maid albeit married. My dad as I mentioned before smoked heavily, which now because of it has made my lungs a little sick which causes problems on my breathing sometimes. I also mentioned before that he drank heavily it made him a tad retarded and would effectively make him unable to work for a day or two which from what I know made him have to switch jobs a few times for also fighting with his coworkers and arguing with his boss. He also likes to show off his rule over us by abusing us by telling me I was worthless I take up too much money to raise me etc. I would also like to mention they both worked at night which made them sleep in the morning effectively making him buy canned food and preserved things instead of them cook our meals. Of course once in a week my mother would cook us something out of boredom when she woke up early but pretty much that was it. A little later on my sister was born and when she turned about 8 my dad would do things that were borderline child sex abuse. Well she's now 11 and I'm a little afraid he might rape her a little years later... well I'm about 16 right now so I don't know what to do, can I sue him or something or must I wait a little longer until I'm of age? I have tried running away a few times when my dad physically abused me, but that really didn't work out so well. So, can someone give me some advice on what I can do?.

[joypulv]

First your little sister: if she is being abused sexually, it's time to call the police, a teacher, a social worker, or any adult you trust, to handle that. She would be taken away to foster care if abuse is proven.
Second, you don't have much of a case for suing, you'd need a lawyer and the gov't won't give you one, and you won't get any money out of people who don't have any, and the only suit you could possibly bring is one for monetary damages. Third, I don't think you would win. The court might not even hear your case (you don't say where you are).

I'm sorry about your life. Many of us had lousy childhoods. You sound angry at your mother, who might be your ally in all this, even though she didn't have the guts to divorce him. As for canned food? You are 16! Let your parents prove that you can cook a good, healthy meal with a few dollars for groceries, and soon you will be the chef in the house. It's a start. Sometimes the children have to be the adults in the home.

[JudyKayTee]

Your anger comes through loud and clear. Much of this is your impressions as a child and much of it is very judgmental. You clearly recall all of these events before your sister was born which I calculate to be 5 years old and younger.

Your sarcasm is noted.

Some of this is teenage agnst - your father is a heavy smoker and your lungs are a "little" damaged? If you have medical evidence that you have damaged lungs and he continues to smoke, that's grounds to remove you from the house.

However, no, you have no grounds to sue. Your MOTHER, on the other hand, might. If you are concerned about your sister, call Child Protective Services. You very obviously don't like your father so his reaction to a complaint shouldn't be a concern to you.

You ran away and that didn't work out? What does that mean - what happened? Do you have a juvenile record?

One other thing - I find your use of the word "retarded" to be offensive. Many people have family members with disabilities. Please be more sensitive. This is not a word to toss around.

If you are unhappy in your home you can always ask CPS to remove you. At 16 you can be placed until you are 18, at which time (in most States) you will be emancipated.

What would you LIKE to happen in your family?

[Jesse121424]

My dad already has a criminal record for misconduct, and a few other things that more than once my mother had to pay for his bail, I figure it'll be quite easy to sue at least him if I point out his record.

[ScottGem]

my dad already has a criminal record for misconduct, and a few other things that more than once my mother had to pay for his bail, i figure it'll be quite easy to sue at least him if i point out his record.

You figure incorrectly. You clearly don't understand the law. A lawsuit is about redress for financial damages when someone acts illegally. Bad parenting is not illegal. Nor do I see where you have suffered financial damages.

Feel free to consult an attorney, many will provide a free initial consultation. But, it is my belief that you will find you have n o grounds for a lawsuit and clearly it won't be "quite easy".

[JudyKayTee]

I'd worry less about suing and MORE about protecting your sister.

You cannot sue anyone for bad behavior. If you COULD most of the population would be in Court 95% of the time.