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mandiiox · Jul 13, 2011, 06:47 PM

He and I dated for 7 months, and this was the first really serious relationship I've ever had. I guess you could say he was my first love. He dumped me and I was really devastated and depressed. I'm still not compeltely over him.

So today I found out that him and her have been dating for over a week. She mentioned none of this to me. She was my absolute best friend and someone I could always tell things too.. It seems that as a good friend that she would at least tell me or ask to make sure I was OK with it first.

Just over a week ago (I'm guessing right before they started dating) I told her I wasn't over him and she told me that she has never liked him. I feel like I've been back stabbed right by her.

Also a few months ago after me and him broke up he took my virginity and then a week later I found out he liked her while it happened. At that time she promised me that she would never go out with him, and never like him.

We all used to be really good friends when me and him were dating.

Do I have a right to be upset or am I overreacting?

talaniman · Jul 13, 2011, 06:59 PM

I think you are just doubly hurt, and feel betrayed, by your friend, and first boyfriend. Any one would be, and react the same as you did.

Its sucks, but happens, and you just get a new friend, and leave them both alone. In time you will see this as the bad experience that it is, and move beyond it. It just will take some time though. No way around it.

Homegirl 50 · Jul 13, 2011, 08:07 PM

You were betrayed by both of them and it will take you a while to get over this. But you must let it go so you can move on.

I wish you well.

bullfight · Jul 14, 2011, 07:22 PM

You are not overreacting, but it is a useless feeling to have. Jealousy is a complex feeling, its origins unknown to most people who harbor it.

The bottom line is you can't control what other people do. Take comfort in that fact and only try to control yourself. Remove yourself from both of these individuals if you feel hurt until you can deal with your emotions. Sometimes you can't not feel hurt and that's OK. You can dwell on the hurt and hate these two horn dogs forever if you like, or, if there are otherwise redeeming qualities to their characters(sometimes people lie about wanting to sleep with your ex because they know what your reaction is going to be), try to ignore the sex part and hang out with them again. Who knows? It's a moral dilemma, it seems...

amicon · Jul 15, 2011, 12:43 AM

Tough call,but realise that she was no real friend nor has he behaved like a decent person.

Find new friends,do things that make you happy and with time this will just be an unpleasant memory.

mj808 · Jul 15, 2011, 10:42 AM

You are not overreacting but now its time to make a change. People treat you the way you let them (that doesn't mean we can control people, but we have the right to stand up for ourselves and leave if the situation warrants that). Never ever put up with this kind of thing again and you are better off with out friends like that. Things will get better but you have to take care of yourself.