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    CFZD's Avatar
    CFZD Posts: 385, Reputation: 49
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    #1

    Jul 5, 2011, 06:47 AM
    Two gentlemen invited me to the same event
    Ironically, two of my new friends are both going to the same dinner event this week, they don't know each other, but they both know me as a new friend. Even more ironically, they have both invited me to this same event. I would consider they are my new friends, whether they are interested in me or not I don't know. So what should I do now? Who I should go with?
    I can probably go with both of them, and introduce them to each other, what do you think?
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    Jul 5, 2011, 07:12 AM

    I think you can't be serious.

    I am guessing you were asked as a date by both of them.
    NeedKarma's Avatar
    NeedKarma Posts: 10,635, Reputation: 1706
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    #3

    Jul 5, 2011, 07:13 AM
    Go as friends.
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #4

    Jul 5, 2011, 07:20 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by CFZD View Post
    I can probably go with both of them, and introduce them to each other, what do you think?
    Hello again, C:

    I think not.

    Although you appear very accomplished, you also appear very immature. That's NOT a criticism - just an observation... Maybe you missed out on dating while you were studying so hard. In any case, the things you want to know about men CAN'T be learned on a website. They're only gained through trial and error.

    excon
    CFZD's Avatar
    CFZD Posts: 385, Reputation: 49
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    #5

    Jul 5, 2011, 07:29 AM
    I don't know if I am asked as a date. I will probably meet them there, since in this city most people take public transportation. It's not like someone will pick me up, that could be more like a date.
    I don't mind hanging out as friends, they may become good friends too. I of course don't want to mis read or over read, or being an idiot... please advise.
    CFZD's Avatar
    CFZD Posts: 385, Reputation: 49
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    #6

    Jul 5, 2011, 07:30 AM
    Comment on excon's post
    True, I miss out on dating big time, that's why I am here for advice. :) Please do advise, what do I do then??
    southamerica's Avatar
    southamerica Posts: 667, Reputation: 400
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    #7

    Jul 5, 2011, 07:39 AM

    You can go alone-just let them both know you're not interested in going as a date. Or if you want to go with one of them in particular, accept his invitation and let the other know you've already got a date to the event.

    At any rate, it's a date. You can pretend it's just a casual friend thing if you wish, but that's not how they're viewing it. I can pretty much guarantee it.

    Of course, I don't know what the event is, but you say it's a dinner event. To me, that sounds pretty "date"-ish. Especially if they're both new friends.
    CFZD's Avatar
    CFZD Posts: 385, Reputation: 49
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    #8

    Jul 5, 2011, 07:41 AM
    But this dinner event are group dinner! So it's a group thing ( more than 10 poeple), how do I know if it's a date or not?
    southamerica's Avatar
    southamerica Posts: 667, Reputation: 400
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    #9

    Jul 5, 2011, 07:46 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by CFZD View Post
    But this dinner event are group dinner! So it's a group thing ( more than 10 poeple), how do I know if it's a date or not?
    Like I said, you can assume it's a "just friends" situation, but it looks like we're all willing to bet it's MORE than that. If you go with both of them, they should both know this before the dinner.

    You can ask them what their intentions are, that'd be the direct way to figure it out.

    As a little side story, a friend asked me to a baseball game last year, and I genuinely thought it was "just friends". We hung out a few more times after that and he finally asked me "where are we going with this?". When I confessed I didn't know that he had those types of intentions, he was offended enough to tell me "how could you not know? I'm pretty sure inviting you out to a baseball game is a pretty big signal".

    So, just a word of caution-men generally don't ask a girl out as "just friends". At least in my experience.
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #10

    Jul 5, 2011, 07:49 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by southamerica View Post
    men generally don't ask a girl out as "just friends". At least in my experience.
    Hello sa:

    Nor, in anyone's.

    excon
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #11

    Jul 5, 2011, 07:53 AM

    I'm going to have to dodge bullets here but has anyone else read some of the other threads and questions? I am finding this more and more difficult to believe.

    There's always a "yes, but," and I cannot believe anyone is this naïve.

    Starting to wonder - spidey senses.
    CFZD's Avatar
    CFZD Posts: 385, Reputation: 49
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    #12

    Jul 5, 2011, 07:55 AM
    I will ask guys out just as friends! Men would do the same, I think. I have had guys asking me out just as friends( at least I thought so lol).
    southamerica's Avatar
    southamerica Posts: 667, Reputation: 400
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    #13

    Jul 5, 2011, 08:00 AM

    Do what feels right.

    I only recommend you let them BOTH know what's up and what you're intentions are/what your interpretation of the evening is. That'll save everyone from an awkward situation down the road.

    Have fun, and good luck on the dating/friend scene.
    CFZD's Avatar
    CFZD Posts: 385, Reputation: 49
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    #14

    Jul 5, 2011, 08:00 AM
    Well, last weekend I went out with a guy and his friend, both are guys, I would think that was a friend thing also, yeah? What's that about then?
    I don't want to assume anything when it comes to dating, maybe I am naïve but I am certainly lack of experience.
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    #15

    Jul 5, 2011, 08:04 AM
    It was like this guy asked me if I want to join him and his friend last week, pretty normal. We had good conversations about culture and food etc, I learned from their traveling experience. Good guys really.
    southamerica's Avatar
    southamerica Posts: 667, Reputation: 400
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    #16

    Jul 5, 2011, 08:11 AM

    In many situations, like last weekend, it doesn't really matter how you interpret it. At some point the truth comes out and you can deal with it when it comes out. Like excon said, it's all trial and error.

    With this dinner situation, you have to be a little more stealth because you have two different men asking you to the same event. You can't play naïve in this circumstance, you have to make sure everyone's on the same page. (well, you don't HAVE to... but it'd be interesting to hear how one would pull it off).
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #17

    Jul 5, 2011, 08:12 AM

    I am not aware of any man who asks any woman to anything with the hope that another man will ask her to the same event and all three can go together.
    adviceishere's Avatar
    adviceishere Posts: 1,027, Reputation: 492
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    #18

    Jul 5, 2011, 09:07 AM

    I know a way to solve this problem! Don't go to the dinner!
    CFZD's Avatar
    CFZD Posts: 385, Reputation: 49
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    #19

    Jul 5, 2011, 01:50 PM
    Comment on adviceishere's post
    It's authentic italian pizza, should I pass? Lol
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #20

    Jul 5, 2011, 03:26 PM

    Yes. What is "authentic Italian pizza," by the way? Sicilian? Something else?

    All of this over pizza?

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