[bazzez]

My Niece is getting married and I was not invited to the Wedding however I would like to attend the Church ceremony, My Question is this can I attend the ceremony and not get thrown out of the Church buy the Priest and or his helpers ?

:confused: :confused:

[Synnen]

Why would you want to go if you were not invited?

I don't think they can throw you out, but it would be a serious breach of etiquette to just crash a wedding.

Is there a particular reason that you are not invited? Or is it just that the bride and groom would like to keep their wedding small and intimate?

[bazzez]

My Niece is getting married and I was not invited to the Wedding however I would like to attend the Church ceremony, My Question is this can I attend the ceremony and not get thrown out of the Church buy the Priest and or his helpers ?

:confused: :confused:

Not crashing the Wedding Just attending the Church service.
Reson for not getting an invite, her father (My Brother) and I don't talk
I respect her and would like to see her get Married

[oneguyinohio]

I would suggest a direct question to the bride and groom asking for their permission for you to attend. If that seems too confrontational, perhaps send a certified letter telling them about your wish to attend and ask if they will contact you with an invitation?

Hope for some sort of oversight on their part, but don't be upset if they do not agree. It might be that someone else sent out the invitations... without knowing the details, its difficult to guess all the possibilities... maybe someone is paying for a limited number... or only want it small??

Agree not to disturb the father in that case... in your request and give them time to consider it.

You might also send the letter to the father, asking to put aside your differences for that day, in honor of his daughter that you respect... sorry for all the posts, this was an afterthought.

[Synnen]

I don't know...

Respecting someone means that you respect their wishes regarding their wedding, and that INCLUDES the church service.

When my sister got married, she was ADAMANT that it only be parents, grandparents, and siblings at the wedding ceremony itself, along with the couple of friends that served as attendants. Our aunt showed up, along with the groom's mother's entire family. It basically ruined the feeling my sister wanted for the ceremony, and caused rifts between my mom and our aunt, and between her and her mother-in-law and their family for several years.

If you respect your niece, you will contact her PRIOR to the wedding and ask if it would be okay with her if you attend the church service.

Not asking her after not receiving an invitation would, in my opinion, be crashing the wedding.

[NeedKarma]

I was under the impression that pretty much anyone can go to the church. I have seen regular church goers attend wedding ceremonies simply because they enjoy them or have a passing acquaintance with someone in the wedding party. The invitation is really for the reception afterwards

[Synnen]

I'm going to disagree with you, NK. Usually, you and I see pretty much eye to eye, so this is kind of weird for me. ;)

No--it's not just for the reception afterwards. If you read most invitations, they invite you to the CHURCH for the ceremony, and then the phrasing is usually something to the effect of "and please join us afterwards for dinner at Zyx Ballroom or whatever.

With so many brides having specific ideas as to how they want their ceremony, and with so many different family politics going on from family to family---and especially in this situation where there is a family rift--the LAST thing a bride wants is to have HER day end up being about someone else's argument.

If you're not invited, at least ask the bride if it's okay to be there. If it would cause her father to storm out of the church or start a shouting match--is it worth seeing her get married to have that kind of drama?

While I agree that most churches allow for just about anyone to show up to a wedding (or funeral, for that matter), I would say that proper etiquette says you must be invited.

[ScottGem]

I had a similar impression as NK. A Church is a public place and I don't believe a wedding has exclusive use of the chapel.

On the other hand, if someone notices you just sitting in the back it might cause bad feelings. So I would contact the bride and ask simply if it would be OK for you to attend the Church ceremony as you would like to see her get married.

[NeedKarma]

It could be a regional thing. At most of the weddings I've been to, including my own, you invariably get the older "church ladies" sitting in the back. No one has any issues with that here.

[bazzez]

Thank you all for all the input I shell take all the advice into consideration
Thank you once again