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adviceishere · Jun 20, 2011, 07:10 AM

hey everyone.

my niece is 5, extremely smart for her age, excellent in school and gets a fair amount of attention from the whole family. She is not spoilt but she is a handfull at times.

she does not want to grow up. She acts like she's a baby, talks like one and acts like one. Its not some imaginary game she plays. When she gets upset she will talk baby, she calls my sister Ma ma, she won't say full sentences', for instance, she was calling her brother karl crazy and she said "karl cazy". Its so annoying, she is more than capable of speaking correctly, she chooses' to speak like this at random moments but its becoming a habit now. She wants to wear her dolls dribblers and drink from their bottles. She even wanted my sister to put cream on her bottom and lay down like a baby with her legs in the air like when a baby is getting their diaper changed.

none of us treat her like a baby, she is the youngest in the household, I know it's a phase but its being going on about a year now and seems to be getting worse. Has anyone had this problem or can anyone advise us how to stop this?

Wondergirl · Jun 20, 2011, 08:03 AM

Does she go to school? If so, how does she behave there? Also, how does she behave in public?

adviceishere · Jun 20, 2011, 08:43 AM

Yes she's in school, she is very well behaved. She doesn't really act like a baby in public but she will talk like a baby in public out of habit now. Which is the reason we really want to stop this. Because its becoming a habit.

redhed35 · Jun 20, 2011, 10:07 AM

If she can talk properly in school, she's choosing to talk like a baby in public, I know that might sound harsh, but if she's getting what she's wants from that behaviour she will continue.

Ill give you an example.

Your in town and she wants an icecream, and asks in her baby voice, you say, I don't understand what your saying you need to talk to me like a big girl not a baby... she continues with the baby talk, you again repeat the same thing, she continues, you ignore it... if she really wants that ice cream she s going to talk properly, when she does praise the hell out of her and get her the icecream.

Doing big girl things together will also help, like making rice krispies buns, babies are too small and can't do that, if she talks like a baby she can't help make them.

She will grow out of it, she won't be 30 in a meeting talking like a baby, however in saying that everyone needs to know what the plan is and be consistent.

adviceishere · Jun 22, 2011, 09:24 AM

Had to spread the Rep Red, we absolutely do not tolerate her baby talk in our house and definitely do not give her a reward for it but saying that her ma and da live separately and she is her daddys princess, this might be were she is getting away with it? But we will have to just be more strict about it I guess and maybe speak to her da about it, when she visits him and his family she is the only child and "milks it" lol, god I laughed out loud when you mentioned talking like a baby in the board room! Hahahaha

Wondergirl · Jun 22, 2011, 09:57 AM

Originally Posted by adviceishere

i laughed out loud when you mentioned talking like a baby in the board room! hahahaha

Don't laugh. One of my sils, when she was a teen, loved Yogi Bear, so took on his style of speaking. Everyone ignored it, figuring she would completely grow out of it. She didn't, and even today in her 50s will speak that way, especially when she's nervous or excited or even in normal conversation when she tries to make a point or get her listeners' attention.

adviceishere · Jun 22, 2011, 10:05 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Don't laugh. One of my sils, when she was a teen, loved Yogi Bear, so took on his style of speaking. Everyone ignored it, figuring she would completely grow out of it. She didn't, and even today in her 50s will speak that way, especially when she's nervous or excited or even in normal conversation when she tries to make a point or get her listeners' attention.

Oh really? So I wonder now could it be an anxiety thing? My niece is very shy, a hand full, but shy at times. Maybe she does it when she's nervous too :eek:

Wondergirl · Jun 22, 2011, 10:22 AM

Originally Posted by adviceishere

oh really? so i wonder now could it be an anxiety thing? my niece is very shy, a hand full, but shy at times. maybe she does it when she's nervous too :eek:

I think for your niece, like my sil, it has become a habit and is useful to get something from someone (especially from her da). My sil's experience is why it should be stopped now, while she's young, because, for my sil, the habit has taken on a life of its own.

Like red said, everyone has to be on the same page and not buy into it. Unfortunately, my sil's parents ignored her Yogi thing or would chuckle at it (sooooooooooooooo cute! ).

I like the idea of your niece doing big-girl stuff like helping in the kitchen (dump measured ingredients into a bowl to make cookies or brownies, decorate cookies with sugar sprinkles, tear apart lettuce for a salad, etc.) or doing a bit of housework (empty wastebaskets, vacuum, put away clean silverware, fold towels/underwear or match socks). If she descends into baby talk, golly gee whiz, she's just not big enough to help.

When I was doing my first year of teaching, I had 3rd and 4th graders in one room. It was time for the 3rd graders to learn times tables, but they moaned and groaned about it. So, I used reverse psychology (not ready, not mature enough) on them. They immediately got enthusiastic and begged to begin learning times tables, promising they would study hard. I've never seen 3rd graders work as hard and learn as fast as they did.

Rather than scold or preach to your niece, family should try reverse psychology.

adviceishere · Jun 22, 2011, 10:41 AM

Yes we're going to try that. I even told her when I have my baby that I will need her help and I will need her to help teach the baby how to talk etc so hopefully this will have a good effect on her. :)

Wondergirl · Jun 22, 2011, 10:43 AM

Originally Posted by adviceishere

yes we're gonna try that. i even told her when i have my baby that i will need her help and i will need her to help teach the baby how to talk etc so hopefully this will have a good effect on her. :)

Now that is a really, really good strategy!! She will have to set a good example for the baby!

adviceishere · Jun 22, 2011, 10:47 AM

We are guilty of scolding her, but that will stop, it does get frustrating when you can't understand what she is saying but know that she can say it perfectly when she wants. But yes the new baby will surely have a good outcome with this, she loves babies :) thanks guys :)

jenniepepsi · Jun 25, 2011, 12:58 PM

Everyone gave great advice that I agree with, this behavior needs to stop.

But also, I got a tone from your OP that the family may be expecting more from her than she can give. Yes, her behavior is on purpose and it needs to stop. But also remember you can't expect a 5 year old to behave like a 10 year old. Remember though she is older than a toddler, she is still not a 'big kid' yet. She is still 'little' and needs time and patients.

If I'm way off base I'm sorry. I just got an impression that too much was being expected of her.
Good luck :)

jenniepepsi · Jun 25, 2011, 12:59 PM

Oh and try ignorning the baby behavior. I'm not sure if that was said before or not. But when she starts acting this way, simply say 'i don't speak to big girls who behave this way' and then don't interact with her until she is ready to behave her age

princess naja12 · Apr 7, 2012, 08:39 PM

I have this problem