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valleyview84 · Jun 7, 2011, 08:56 AM

How do I sum it all up so that this posting isn't too lengthy? My freshman year in high school I started dating the guy that would end up being my boyfriend for the full 4 yrs of high school. We dated, on and off, through college (we went to separate colleges) and even throughout most of our 20's. I moved away for college and never really moved back home. Would move back for a year then move again (I worked public relations for music tours and I never really felt 'grounded' enough to establish one location) but when I was home we were together. Truthfully and honestly, on both of our part, we have never cheated on each other. We have cheated on our other halves, both dating partners and now spouses, but only with each other. Infidelity is infidelity. But what on earth is it when you are involved with the same person for almost 30 yrs? He is married with two children and I am married with two children. He met his wife when I was living out of state and I met my husband shortly after he married his wife. We have never lost contact with each other and we have always been each other's best friend in so many areas. We jokingly call it an addiction, that we are addicted to each other. We currently live 2 hrs apart. We talk every day and we see each other at least once a month. Activities and other responsibilities with our families limits our time together which is completely fine with both of us. I have an opportunity to move back home and he has said that when we're in the same location there are going to be changes made in our lives because we have to figure out why we're still attached to each other no matter what we try to not be. What do you call a 30 yr attachment to the same person through every hardship, life change, parental deaths, etc. that a person can go through?

I wish · Jun 7, 2011, 09:50 AM

First off, our first love will always be our first love. Maybe it's not so much a current romance between the two of you, but the past romance that has lingered around.

Hopefully you can evolved your long history together into a best friend relationship. You're both married and you need to be fair to your respective families.

Does your husband and his wife know about your pasts?

valleyview84 · Jun 7, 2011, 09:55 AM

Yes they do. They do not, however, know that we've been "seeing" each other. They both know of our 30 yr history together and our always gravitating to each other no matter where we are in our lives.

I wish · Jun 7, 2011, 10:58 AM

You need to strongly reconsider this "seeing" each other business.

Make sure you have your priorities straight. 30 years is not easy to throw out the door, so I hope that the two of you can find a way to keep things platonic. Otherwise, it's best to distance yourselves from each other. Unless you're looking for a divorce.