[Rose2010]

My husband is a physician and I am a teacher. He makes a lot more money than I do and recently we decided to purchase a house. As he is busier that I am, I have been running statements to the bank for a loan application. While looking over the statements, I noticed large amounts of money being written to his family. (All members of his family are well-off, especially compared to my working-class family). When I confronted him, he yelled "It's my money to spend how I want." Since marriage we have had two accounts, one is a joint account that we keep the balance very low (just enough to pay bills). The other account has his name and his mother's and has a higher interest rate than the joint account (That is the justification for the two accounts and keeping all the money out of the joint account until it's time to pay bills).

Anyhow, my husband doesn't like me asking questions about the money and just feels like he is entitled to oversee the money, because he makes a lot more than me. I never spend money on myself or my family, and whenever I do I always let him know ahead of time. I asked him for the same respect, but he doesn't feel like he should have to share "his" money with me. I just have a sick feeling in my stomach, because I feel like he doesn't trust me and that he thinks his blood family is more important or trustworthy than I am.

Also he recently asked me if people ever take out life insurance policies or leave their inheritance to their children instead of their spouse. We have been watching a lot of 48 Hours Mystery on TV where it seems spouses murder each other or are accused of that crime for money. I told him that I thought it was a weird remark and went on to ask him if we don't ever have kids (we've been trying unsuccessfully for 2 years), if he would want to give the money to his sister's children and he said no, but again, the whole discussion put a bad taste in my mouth. Any advice from anyone who has experienced this or knows better would be so appreciated. I feel sad.

[JudyKayTee]

You are married to this man, you share his bed, you presumably discuss other problems in your marriage.

You have to sit down and discuss this issue.

Depending on your State (and the percentages vary) he CANNOT disinherit you. You are entitled to a percentage of his estate when/if he dies.

I would sit him down and talk to him. I would do it now.

[talaniman]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marria...rs-518868.html

I think you and your husband have a very wide communications gap, and you really do have to reach some compromises in many areas of this marriage that's fair for you both.

[JudyKayTee]

I question why anyone would post the situation in bits and pieces, dribs and drabs, and expect to receive targeted, intelligent, meaningful advice.

Good catch - sounds like the problems are many.