[Doug101b2]

Hello,

You can call me Doug. I am a Grandfather. My Granddaughter lives with us 24/7 and she just turned 4 years old. Her Mom and Dad are alive. They do not live together anymore. My granddaughter Mom has a boy friend. We (my wife and I) Has court papers that puts my granddaughter with us full time.

Question: My youngest daughter, age 17 was talking to my Granddaughter (Sue). Sue said that it hurts right here. So my daughter asked Sue, do you why it hurts? Sue said that her Mom and her boy friend spanked her vajina. Her vajina area is red. Now this if it did happen and it may have. Was done on Sat. When her Mom can to pick her up for the night. Today is Thur.

In Dec. We let my daughter (Sue's Mom) take Sue on a 4 day trip. When Sue got back we asked her if she had fun. Sue said yes, but I was bad one time. Mom got mad at me. Jack (my daughters boy friend)(not real name) took me into the bathroom and colsed the door hard. Took my pants down and spanked me. I cried a lot.

So where do I go from here? I know what I want to do, but what is the right thing to do. My daughter is not the best of Mom. That is why we have Sue. I'm sure there is someone that I should talk to about this. A Doctor or someone. Please help me, help my Sue. I don't want her to get hurt ever again. I need to know if this did happen.

Thank you for any help you can tell me, Doug

[Eileen G]

In this case, I do not think you have the luxury of playing guessing games. A child told you, without being prompted, that a man who was no relation to her had physical contact with her genitals.

Even if it was only spanking, I think you should still act. The legality of spanking is dubious, depending on where you are, but for an unrelated man to take her to a locked room, take down her pants and spank her, is way beyond the line.

Call for help. If you have a specialised Child service where you live, call them. If not, go to the police. This is the safety of a young child you are talking about, it's not fair to her to allow a bad situation to continue.

[munshkin]

You should really calls the cops or child services, even if it is your daughter putting her in that position. Little kids are notorious for telling the truth and even if it weren't so its not something you should take lightly its better to be safe than sorry. No one has the right to put a child in such a terrible spot, not even the mother.

[talaniman]

You consult with Child Protective Services, or her social worker immediately, and get the facts. Inform the baby mama, and keep her boyfriend away from this child. Get supervised visits only for this irresponsible girl.

[DoulaLC]

Since you have custody, is your daughter getting any parenting classes that you know of? Have you talked to your daughter and her boyfriend about your concerns of the severity of how they discipline Sue?