[ladymini]

My husband and I have been married for 4 yrs and no children yet. He is a very social person.. he makes friends very easily anywhere he goes. Everybody likes him.. He does want me to join him with his friend, I can see that he's trying to make me socialize with his friend but I am quite shy and I feel like I can't fit in with his friends. They are nice, actually.

But sometimes I feel like my husband is more happy when he is around his friends than me. He got lots of friends--girls and boys-- on the internet. I told him before that I don't like him to be too nice with the girls, but he said that he is that type of guy (who likes to make friends).. and there's nothing special between them.

I'm just afraid that if I'm nagging him too much to be with me and he's happy making friends, this will turn him off to be with me and he would prefer to be with his friends.. He had said to me over and over that he just like to make friends and will always love me but sometimes I need a recognition that makes me feel special. I just want more attention from him..

Is it because I don have many friends so I need more attention from him?

[DoulaLC]

How much time does he spend with his friends... both in real life and online? How do you feel that he is "too nice" with the girls? Is he just talking about common interests, like he would with the guys, or is there flirting going on? There can sometimes be a fine line that gets crossed and where that line is can be different for different people. Something that may need to be discussed if this is the situation you find yourself in.

Try spending some more time with him and his friends. It is great that he encourages you to do so. It may help you become more comfortable with his friendships and you will also be getting more attention from him at the same time. It may also help you become less shy, and you might even build some friendships with some of them yourself. Sort of a win win situation all around.

Continue to build your own friendships as well, even a couple of friends is fine. Spend time doing things with them on your own.

It is also important to have some couple time, so if you feel you are needing more of that, discuss it with him. Maybe one night each weekend is a date night, or whatever would work for the two of you.

[ladymini]

Tqs for your reply DoulaLC... Well, now that he just opened his own café since last month, he's quite busy during night time (the café opens at night.. for now). So, sometimes his friends would come there and they will have a jolly good times... and I'm happy that he's happy.. but there's also part of me wanting his attention. He will get online when he has the time... but I didn't really know because we are living apart, because of workplace. Every weekend, I will go back to his place to spend time with him. He lives with his elder brother.

Him being too nice with the girls of course makes me feel jealous.. and he knows it. From what I observed, there's no really flirting going on, but he cares too much and always being the nice and funny guy. Of course girls would love to hang around with him.. The main point is, I think.. any girls would love to befriend with him. What should I do?

[raj506044]

I feel you should be more worried about the quality of friends he makes and not about how many . It must be very akward for you to mix with them as its not with your nature . But believe me , a person likes the most when his wife also enjoys his friends company and mixes with them . So try to mic with his friends , even if you don't like them , so that they wd praise your hubby about u . This would in return raise feelings for you in your husband and he wd spend time with you .