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    halibanana's Avatar
    halibanana Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Apr 18, 2011, 03:13 PM
    I'm about to meet my boyfriend's daughter. Any tips?
    My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years.. and you can say it's pretty serious. I'm 30.. and he's 39.
    He has a 10 year old daughter.
    His ex has the main custody and he sees his daughter almost every weekend.
    I'm his first serious girlfriend after the divorce.
    I've never been married nor have any kid of my own.

    I'm freaking out.. I'm usually good with kids.. but meeting his daughter seems whole different story. I've never dated anyone with a kid before.
    My boyfriend isn't exactly helping either. He said that he's afraid that his daughter might hate him for having a girlfriend.. it's his first time introducing anyone to his daughter also.

    The daughter has known about me for about a couple months now. His ex has a boyfriend too.. but hasn't introduced them yet either.

    10 year olds.. aren't they entering that 'sensitive age'? What if she resents me? I'm worried that her feelings towards me might ruin the relationship between my boyfriend and I.

    What is proper? What should I say to her? Is gifting okay? I heard she collects glass snowballs.. so I picked up one couple weeks ago when I was traveling.

    What can my boyfriend or/and I do to help the situation?
    Bluerose's Avatar
    Bluerose Posts: 1,521, Reputation: 310
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Apr 18, 2011, 06:02 PM

    Kids, like dogs, show them youíre afraid and theyíll take a bite out of you. Be yourself, smile, donít expect too much and remember she is curious about you too. Donít go overboard on the gifts and remember the time you put in getting to know her, and her you, is your gift to each other. Oh, and itíll take more than a few weekends to get to know each other so give it time.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,894, Reputation: 5430
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #3

    Apr 18, 2011, 07:38 PM

    Go to the library and get some books appropriate for her age. (Ask a librarian for help.) Show them to the daughter and give her a choice of which ones to read with you. Maybe you two can switch off reading paragraphs or pages, or maybe she will want you to read to her. Interrupt now and then to ask her questions or let her ask questions, and to talk about what you've just read.

    Get some printer paper, crayons, and stickers that are objects -- animals and birds and people doing different things. On a sheet of paper (with her help), draw some hills and trees. Draw a sun and puffy clouds, plus a few flying birds. Draw a lake. Make waves and fish and reeds and rocks. Stick on stickers in various places. Tell a story about the picture.

    Buy one or two jigsaw puzzles picturing girly things and put them together with her.

    Buy some wild nail colors (purple? Burgundy? Orange?) and paint your and her nails. Maybe do your toenails too.

    Bake a batch of brownies or cookies together (even if you use a box mix or one of those Pillsbury refrigerated dough rolls). Maybe decorate the cookies with sprinkles. Make her dad the taste-tester.

    When you're at the library, pick up some craft books in the children's department. Look through them with the daughter and figure out what project you want to do next time she comes over.

    She's at a delightful age -- not too smartypants yet but smart enough to have fun with.

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