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Momof2BoysCO · Mar 30, 2011, 02:07 PM

We found out a couple of days ago that a young girl in my sons class has been touching him on his private parts, and that she told him to put his hand in her pants. This happened in class and once on the playground on the outside of his pants. He said he only touched her once. When asked why he said "she told me to". And when I asked him why he let her touch him he said "because she asked if she could". "She asked me to be her boyfriend and I said ok". Is it strange that he is so agreeable and willing to do what ever anyone asks? Did we teach him to be to kind? To be to agreeable? We have notified his teacher and the school. Its Spring break and school resumes on Monday which is when we are scheduled for a meeting with the principle. We are very upset and confused by his actions. Why he thought it was OK to let someone touch him, and to touch a girl when she told him to.. Need some advice please... What do I do to fix this?

southamerica · Mar 30, 2011, 02:14 PM

This is not so uncommon as you would think. At 7 years old, children are curious about their bodies and the bodies of others.

As his parents, you should sit down with your son and explain to him what type of touching is appropriate, and what is inappropriate. The girl's parents should do the same.

This type of curiosity doesn't mean that your son is too agreeable or this girl is manipulative. They just need to know that it's not okay to touch each other like that. They're only seven, after all.

Wondergirl · Mar 30, 2011, 02:16 PM

Have you instructed him in the past about one's private parts and that they are no one's business?

Momof2BoysCO · Mar 30, 2011, 02:41 PM

Yes we have talked about touching a few times in the past. And not to let anyone touch your private parts. I'm a stay at home mom so we are together all the time. I'm a bit over protective. So having something like this happen at school is very upsetting.

ScottGem · Mar 30, 2011, 03:30 PM

As southamerica said, this is not uncommon. Children will go through this phase and this is just about the right age for it.

You should NOT be upset about this and you should be especially careful to not communicate that upset to your son. He needs to be taught boundaries, but in a way that will hopefully not traumatize him. Follow the school's advice on this, I'm sure they have dealt with this many times.