[trying1234]

My girlfriend has depression and seasonal depression. We are both high school seniors and going to college. Both of us are very academic, yet she feels as if she needs to go to Arizona for her health. I don't know what to do. We've been dating for 2+ years and talk hours everyday. Both my family and I really don't want me to go to a college in Arizona. I don't know if I can keep her happy in North Carolina (where I would like to go) and I've tried everything that I can. My parents preach reason to me and hints... that as with so many people I need to establish myself and get a good education and job before I should think about marriage or any strong commitment. And being in a commitment too early may limit me because I may only go somewhere just as long as there is space for both of us--therefore, we may cut corners for each other. I understand that, but it's also so often as well that my girlfriend relies on me so much. I don't want to leave her behind. I don't know what she would do without me. I don't want her to be depressed and I just want to find some solution. I seem to lose either way.

She is taking medication and it has been a tedious progress. Sometimes I think it is getting better and then she gets worse again. I'm scared that I also just love her as a friend and am too afraid to break up with her for not knowing how she will do without me. I am just so confused. It's also not that we don't know each other that well, because I've spent hours every single day talking to her or spending time with her besides a few days when I've been away on a family vacation. School is very difficult and this matter is very stressful and time consuming, but I cannot stop trying to comfort her. It sometimes is equally as stressful when she is amazingly well one day and absolutely amazing and the other she is at the bottom of the depths.. how long and how do I know when she is happy? This is my first relationship. I'm confused and starting to feel cornered myself.

[KBC]

I tend to agree with your parents,making lifelong decisions(especially with the first relationship) isn't in your best interest.

I did as you are describing, and the story isn't what you would like to live out... yeah,that was my life,not yours, but there are too many in this world who have done the same thing and had the same outcome...

As for the girlfriend,her depression,her need to be somewhere else to find her own way,her life depends on HER,not how you could take care of her.If she fell into the 'you need to take care of me' syndrome,it would be called co-dependence.

If you fall into the 'I need to take care of you' syndrome,that would also become co-dependence.

You need to let her go.If the 2 of you were meant to be,you will be,it won't be by your making,or hers,it's called faith.

Let her go to school in Arizona(which by the way I just moved here because of MY depression/seasonal depression),it actually does one wonders to have sunshine almost every day!)

Hope this makes sense to you to hear it from someone other than family.

[Hansasa]

Well you still have you whole life in front of you , but you have to choose your future or you girl! I know it's very hard but you have to be sure that you love her enough to not choose your future! The most important thing that you won't regret so choose well . After all I'm sure that she well respect your choice . And you won't let her alone she have her next her family . I wish you the best both of u .

[ajwain]

You perceive your academics.. let your girlfriend go to Arizona.meanwhile be in contact with her and see how your future shapes up.. if its in destiny you both will surely be together again.let time decide..