[mcarper61]

I'm the grandmother.. my daughter adopted her daughter.. last July.. how can I find and that she is OK.. My daughter never gave me the chance to take her... because I would have.. to keep her in the family and for her to know her 2 brothers and sister.. can someone help me..

[Synnen]

If the child is still a minor, you can't.

And as a birthmother who chose adoption at 17 against my entire family's wishes--there are VERY good reasons for the mental health of the mother that adoption is done OUTSIDE of the family. I wouldn't let my mother, sister, aunt, grandmother or cousin adopt my daughter either. Do you have any idea how freaking difficult that would be for someone to go through? To be RIGHT THERE by your child, but to have absolutely NO SAY in raising her? To hear her call someone else "mommy"?

Keeping a child in the family is NOT always in the best interests of either the child or the birthmother.

Since most adoptions these days are open, you can probably ask your daughter about her child to find out if she is okay. She probably knows.

I do suggest that you look into counseling to deal with your emotions regarding the adoption so that it does not affect your relationship with your daughter. It will also help you deal with and understand why the child was placed outside of the family.