[mrsdixon26]

Unfortunately, my 3 boys were put in a Foster Home because my Husband and I were incarcerated. And, we have no family. And, now there is reason to believe that my Youngest was molested by another kid - well he's 18 that lived at the same foster home. Back, in August my boys were home for a Visit. And, I kept noticing my youngest doing stuff that wasn't usual. He had became obsessed with touching my breast and butt. And, I remember times before that. His behavior was just weird. And, I know my sons. And, something just felt weird. Well, we were swimming that day. And he had to go to the bathroom. After he went I put his Sunscreen back on him and he touched my breast. And, I explained to him that it was inappropriate for him to do that. And, it got me thinking. I started asking him questions. I asked him has anyone ever touch you down there. And he said yes. Then he mention the boys name. I know kids lie. But, he is 4 years old. And, I believe him. And, then he said some other stuff. But, soon stop because he said he was going to get in trouble. I couldn't believe it. I called my husband over and told him what was going on.

After they went home late that day we decided to call the Foster Mom. We were kind of scared because the state has our Children and we didn't want anything to happen in return - I mean I didn't want them to think we were doing this to get our Children back. We were so confused. Because our worst nightmare just came to life. We told the Foster Mom exactly what our Son told us. And, she said that they are never alone together. He's either at work or school. We had a long discussion. And, she went on and on that nothing like that ever happened. And, we trusted her. She also said that from now on she would make sure that they were never left alone.

A month went by. And then they finally came home. After a few months of being home I keep noticing strange behavior. My son obsessing over touching his older brothers. Behavior that is not normal. And, I know my Son. I know all three of my sons. I have been a Mom for 10 years. And even though my Husband and I were involved in something criminal ( not drugs, violence, etc... ) We are dam good parents.

One of the programs the state offer us is In Home therapy. And,a lady comes out to our Home weekly to help with any behavior or concerns we are dealing with . And, I decided to bring up what happen to our Little one. There is no way I could let this go on. Because if it did happen - I can get my son help. I told her everything. And, she asked me a very important question. Did you ask your Son what time of the day did this happened? Later, on that day when my son and I were playing I asked him when did him and "John Doe" play? Did he come into your room at night time after everyone was asleep? And, he said yes. He would play on his bed with him - A f***** 18 year old - I died after hearing that, Why would my son make that up. I called the lady that comes to our house and she passed it onto her supervisor. Since then I have talk to her and they have contacted the police. And, they are going to set up forensic testing for my son.

Im so scared for my son. Im an emotional train wreck. My son adored this creep. He always went on how he let him play with his Nintendo ds. He was always polite to me. But that's what most molesters are like. They are so nice and sweet. That's how they get their victims. Makes me sick.

One of the tings that keeps eating me alive is that the Foster Mom should have reported what my Husband and I said. Because just in case this was brought up she would've covered her a**.

I have no idea what to do? Should I get a lawyer? Please... if you have any advice. I greatly appreciated it!

[redhed35]

Your family are going through a really hard time,I'm not quite sure of your question.

If your looking for legal advice I can ask that your thread be moved into the legal section of amhd.

Any responses you get in the legal section have to be correct and factually.

Can you clarify if your looking for legal advice,and if you would like your thread moved?

[mrsdixon26]

Thank you for replying. Yes, Im seeking legal advice. If you don't mind you can move my thread.

Thank You

[redhed35]

I have requested your thread be moved to the legal section, it should be done shortly.

Keep an eye on your thread.

The heading will change from 'foster' to 'legal 'when its done.

[J_9]

I have moved this to the Criminal Law section.

One thing I have to say, from a legal background, is that when you asked your son "did he come in your room at night time when every one was asleep" is considered a leading question.

You need to be careful how you ask these questions.

Example:

Did the boy touch you?

Where on your body?

Where were you when he asked you to touch him?

Were there other people around?

[mrsdixon26]

Thank you for your advice.

I know if you ask my son those questions you won't get anywhere. He just shuts down and gets very quiet. Now, I just let him talk and I let him know that Mommy and Daddy will never be mad at you. And, you can always talk to us about anything.

[J_9]

Is he back in your custody now?

[mrsdixon26]

Yes, He is.

[J_9]

Time for a good child psychologist.

They have great role playing with dolls and the like that will get the truth out.

[Wondergirl]

Please don't talk to him about this or ask questions. That will confuse him and possibly replace what happened with new thoughts and ideas. The truth will disappear in new stories. Like J said, get him to a psychologist as soon as possible.

[excon]

Hello m:

You'll NEVER be able to prove it happened... And, IF you do, you'll NEVER prove that HE (the 18 year old) did it. So, assuming he's back with you, I'd concentrate on treating your son instead of trying to make a case...

excon

[mrsdixon26]

We have an appointment with a therapist. And, they are going to do forensic testing on my son. The investigator told me the therapist is very good. She does role playing - i.e plays with dolls, house, etc.. Plays with play-doh, art, etc...

My views on the Foster Care system are so screwed up right now. Because its not like they can separate each kid because of the reason why they are in Foster Care.

But as a parent I think this could have been prevented. But can it. If the Foster Mom really didn't know "John Doe" was molesting other kids how could she have prevented it. But, her job as a Foster Mom is to make sure the kids are protected.

And, for privacy reasons we are not allow to know why other kids on in the foster home. So, how do we know if "John Doe" has had something happen to him. Or "John Doe" is going to therapy for it. But, if "John" was a Victim he should still know that you don't touch anyone. And, he is 18. He's not a little kid that doesn't know any better.

And, the thing that drives me insane the most is me. I wasn't there to protect him. All, of the horrible thoughts that were going through my head while I was sitting in Jail came true. My Husband and I were able to tell our other 2 boys - they are 9,8 - about predators. So, they know what to do in case something ever happened. But, we never got the chance with our little one.

[mrsdixon26]

I am treating my son. But, Im not going to let "John Doe" hurt anyone else.

[Wondergirl]

Be very, very careful about accusations. Things may not have happened the way you think they did. I know you're angry, but be careful.

[excon]

I am treating my son. But, Im not going to let "John Doe" hurt anyone else.

Hello again, mrs:

I think you're confusing me with a wuss who doesn't want to make waves... I HAVE children... If I thought for one minute that I could get my hands on some bastard who did this to my son, I'd DO IT...

But, I DON'T think you can get your hands (criminal charges) on this bastard... I think TRYING to do so will only prolong the misery your son went through...

excon

[mrsdixon26]

That's why I was scared to say anything while they were in Foster Care. But, what if this really happened? What does a parent do? I have heard so many people say if a child says they have been molested. Then they have probably been. And, for some reason he thinks this happened to him.

And, he is the one that said "John Does" name. And, my son said they play down in the basement. And, that's where his Bedroom is. My other 2 boys use to always tell me that they hardly ever got to go down there. That "John Doe" favored the youngest over them.

And, the only time I actually asked him if someone touched you was that first time. I didn't think I was going to get the answer he told me. We never talked about again until a Month ago. And, I just didn't come out and asked where it happen at. I worked around it. And, we were goofing around when he told me. Its easier to type what actually happened then to go though what my son and I did for him to tell me that. Hopefully Im making sense. It's hard for me to type what Im trying to say.

[Wondergirl]

And you want to prevent John Doe from doing this with another child.

[excon]

Thats why I was scared to say anything while they were in Foster Care. But, what if this really happened ?? What does a parent do ??

Hello again, mrs:

Slow down. We're here to help - and we do a pretty damn good job of doing that...

I didn't say it didn't happen... Frankly, I BELIEVE it did. I don't think 4 year old's make this stuff up... What I DID say, is that I don't think you can PROVE it. If I thought you could, I'd tell you so. Therefore, I'd concentrate on healing your child...

excon

[mrsdixon26]

Excon,

Trust me I'm not a Wuss. Everyday is a Battle for me not to go over there and Kill him. And, I can't really discuss what all has happened to my Husband because something happened to him when he was little. All of this is Bringing up bad memories. And, he will kill him. But, what good would that do. Then we won't get to see any of our sons.

If, I was a wuss I wouldn't be saying anything at all. And, act like nothing had happened. That's a lot easier for some people.

But because I can't Kill him or do things to him as he might have done onto others I want to make sure he does suffer. How do I know if he isn't just some NutJob that doesn't feel any remorse? Im not taking that chance. He deserves to be in Jail and deserves to get castrated.

[mrsdixon26]

As my Child gets treated - Should I not press charges? What do I do?