[Julia143]

Well my name is Julia, I'm 14 I'm a freshman in high school, I have a lot of friends & I think I'm nice for the most part, but anyway I keep crying every night I'll be watching t.v or talking with one of my friends & I would out of no where just feel depressed, I talked to my mom & she called a theripist or counsiler (I think I spelt that wrong)& I think I am getting an appointment soon.. I think I might be sad because my boyfriend & I broke up a while ago and he was recently telling a lot of my friends that I'm pregnant & how much of a fat ***** I am.. then after we broke up I was fine, like if a guy doesn't like me then he doesn't like me, but no he broke up with me because his friends that don't like me told him that I was "talking **** about them" when I honestly wasn't! But then he was talking about his previous ex girlfriends & how his friends told him that she was talking **** and she wasn't and then he didn't believe his friends, so then with another ex he was saying basically the same story except he wasn't believing his friend he believed his ex and she was talking **** though, (sorry if that didn't make since) so he told me that he wanted to believe his friends and me this time, & I told him that he can't compare me to his ex girfriends & I was crying later that day because I was just overwellmed because I found out my sister is getting really sick and my dad is moving and then my ex is mad at me for something I didn't do! I was histarically crying. But a few weeks after that I was talking to my guy friend & then later in the month I went to his house and we had sex... but he didn't tell me he had a ex that was basically obsest with him, she was cussing me out with 5 of her friends & she was saying **** like "i can't believe you, your a whore! you knew i was dating him!" I then replied "i didnt know that you were dating him.. he told me he wasnt dating anyone, and that he has been single for abourt 2 months, and btw you guys arnt dating your just obsessing over him & i know how you feel" and her and I were talking more and more without her friends & she was telling me about her and his relationship and that they were trying to work everything out but then I was thinking then why did he want to have sex? But I just forgot about it, then she's all I don't want to start **** with you and then I said mmk, cool neither do I, then what does she do! She goes off and talks **** about me how him and I **** all the time and how him and I are good for each other so I confront her alone and I was basically telling her that it was ****ed up that she was talking about me and that she wasn't going to, & she was just like you deserved it and walked away. Now I don't talk to her and I try to just ingnore her every-chance I get, & she just keeps talking **** and now I just don't care. But now she stopped and now I'm here just crying every night and I don't think it was all because of that like drama happens a lot its nothing new. But I guess I'm just lonely.. & I have a lot of friends some more supporting than the others but still very nice! & now I talk to them, but they can't really help me because its my life. & when I'm at school I'm happy but really I feel like crying alone. Like today I was feeling extra depressed so I took a shower and thinking that would help me sleep and just end the day, but as I was in the shower I couldn't stop thinking of ways I could die, so I was sitting down in the shower humming along to my music & then I was singing happy song but out of no where I started crying! And I was just thinking stop crying stop! But I couldn't! I was just in the shower crying not knowing whether to get out and talk to my mom or just stay there and keep crying.. I ended up just staying in there crying.. now I'm writing this long story.. & I think I could be depressed.. can anyone help me?. :/