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    Peanut20's Avatar
    Peanut20 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 22, 2011, 07:26 AM
    I just want to be happy with my boyfriend
    Okay my boyfriend is the sweetest guy I have ever met he is a good person but sometimes he gets mad about the most stupidest things. But if I get mad at him it's not right he turns it all back on me and makes it my fault when I really don't think it was, he has to be right all the time it can never be his fault I don't know what to do. It's like he trying to put me under his wing. Like one time I told him did you just ****ing call me a *****? I didn't mean to say it like that but I would never let any guy call me that but after that be cursed me out and made me cry it's like he always makes me feel like I'm a bad girlfriend and I have to change for him but the things that I don't like he won't really change them all that much. I know he loves me but from what seeing I have a lot more feelings than he does and he thinks it's the other way around. I just want to stop the fighting and I don't know how!
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
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    #2

    Jan 22, 2011, 07:38 AM

    Do you feel you need to change for him to accept you? Do you feel like you are walking on egg shells so as not to make him angry? Do you feel truly respected by him, cared for? Does he make you feel better about yourself? Does he listen, care about what you have to say, when you don't agree with him on something?

    If no, then he is not a good match for you. You should not feel like you need to change for him. He should want to know what you have to say. He should not be cursing at you.

    Have a chat with him about how you are feeling. How he responds will let you know if the relationship is worth working at or if you should call it quits.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Jan 22, 2011, 08:57 AM

    Why would you let this sweet guy manipulate you this way? He loves you as long as you behave the way he wants you to, and that's how he controls your behavior. There are a lot of sweet guys who are not manipulative control freaks who will not try to change you into what they want.

    He will never change, sorry. And he cannot love without control.
    Peanut20's Avatar
    Peanut20 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jan 22, 2011, 11:03 AM
    Comment on talaniman's post
    I love him and I want to be with him it's just hard on me sometimes but thanks a lot this really did help me:)
    questions3110's Avatar
    questions3110 Posts: 7, Reputation: 3
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    #5

    Jan 24, 2011, 05:20 PM
    I am having the same problems with my boyfriend. We have been together for 10 months now and he gets upset for every little thing. I know he loves me and I love him but sometimes I wonder if he really does love me because of the way that he reacts to things. When you find a good answer let me know :)

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