[scpierce]

She has almost always been "huggy" and eventually began dropping her hand to my breast area. I notice she is very curious of them, she has done this for as long as I can remember. I play it off, trying not to bring attention to it, brushing her hand away. And eventually verbally telling her I do not like that, not to and so forth. During a family gathering, last year, she asked a boy, 10 yr old friend of her cousin, if he would like to "smell her butt". To say the least I was very startled, and spoke to her about this once every one left. Dogs greet each other like that, did she pick that up from a canine? Last week she put her hand between older sister's legs, and swiped them upward on her sister's butt. I addressed that immediately with her as did her sister. She grinned about it like she knew she wasn't suppose to... so maybe it is nothing. Just curiousity. Today, we were drawing pictures. She drew a picture with private parts, I would not have known that, but she told me that is what it was. She had "it" in the appropriate area of the body, after asking who it is, she began marking through it ("it-"the long line coming down below the belly of her drawing) as if to hide it, and covered it up. She replied "it's me". I asked her if she learned to draw those pictures in school, she replied no and changed the subject, after I told her I felt she shouldn't draw those kinds of pictures. I need to have a conversation with her about this, I have tried to get to the bottom of where she is learning the touching and that it is wrong unless you're married, and drawing pubic areas that resembles a male. Should I be concerned? Is she learning? Is she just excited. She is a very loving and emotional 4 year old. When she is on punishment she asks why I don't love her. Is there more to that? She is four, and that is a mature question. Is she just trying to manipulate me? My suspisions and concerns are telling me that the question she asked comes from something deeper. My mind won't stop, help.

[jenniepepsi]

It's a normal phase. At 4 she is old enough to understand the private area talk, and even start the 'good touch bad touch' discussions too (though that has nothing to do with this issue lol) every time she reaches for your breasts, move her hands and say 'no that is mommys private area, you don't touch'
And keep at it. Don't just 'let it go' once in a while. It's a NO NO all the time. Same with all of the other issues.

About the smelling her butt, my daughter did that after learning that dogs say hello that way lol. Maybe that is what was going on?

Good luck hon. Just stick to your guns and give it time.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, the smell butt was at 3 ( you said a year ago) and 4 year olds are very curious, It is just time to start teaching what is right and wrong about it.