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    Daisy888's Avatar
    Daisy888 Posts: 0, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 9, 2011, 08:25 PM
    Too anxious embarrassed and ashamed to enjoy sex?
    I've been having sex for 4 years now, two years with my current boyfriend, and it is always terribly unsatisfying.
    Sex is always something that makes me feel dirty and disgusting and ashamed and I can't shake it.
    It stresses me out immensely and I have cried several times from the stress/anxiety of it.
    My last boyfriend frequently told me how awful I was at having sex and my current boyfriend is very calm and understanding but when he asks me to take control and get on top and put in some effort I just feel like I'm terrible and want to cry and stop.

    When I finally calm down and get on top It incredibly unsatisfying - like a medical exam - I can feel it but I'm not aroused at all. I thought I would get over this by now but I haven't.
    Also I can have orgasms when I'm alone but with a partner it seems impossible.
    Like I said even when I do relax it's not pleasurable.

    Any ideas?
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #2

    Jan 9, 2011, 08:46 PM

    How old are you?
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #3

    Jan 10, 2011, 06:25 AM

    Age... we need to know it.
    martinizing2's Avatar
    martinizing2 Posts: 1,868, Reputation: 819
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    #4

    Jan 10, 2011, 05:08 PM
    Your age is necessary in order for us to answer and
    Can be a factor in determining advice.
    jenniepepsi's Avatar
    jenniepepsi Posts: 4,042, Reputation: 533
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    #5

    Jan 11, 2011, 08:21 AM

    Just saying again so I can subscribe, we need your age hon
    Gigi29's Avatar
    Gigi29 Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Jan 12, 2011, 09:15 PM
    I think that your old boyfriend caused you, to think that you really are bad at sex, so it's causing you lots of mental stress. He got you to believe eveything he told you about how bad you where. If you can just get past all that and give yourself a new chance I'm sure you will be able to enjoy sex as much as me :)
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
    Welbeing Expert
    		  
    #7

    Jan 12, 2011, 09:30 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Gigi29 View Post
    I think that your old boyfriend caused you, to think that you really are bad at sex, so it's causing you lots of mental stress. He got you to believe eveything he told you about how bad you where. If you can just get past all that and give yourself a new chance I'm sure you will be able to enjoy sex as much as me :)
    We need to know her age before answering her.
    Gigi29's Avatar
    Gigi29 Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Jan 12, 2011, 09:54 PM
    Sorry I just think it doesn't matter. Her old boyfriend mentally abused her into thinking she horrible at sex..
    martinizing2's Avatar
    martinizing2 Posts: 1,868, Reputation: 819
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    #9

    Jan 12, 2011, 10:03 PM

    Sorry I just think it doesn't matter. Her old boyfriend mentally abused her into thinking she horrible at sex
    It does matter. It is a legal requirement .
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #10

    Jan 12, 2011, 10:38 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Gigi29 View Post
    Sorry I just think it doesn't matter. Her old boyfriend mentally abused her into thinking she horrible at sex ..
    Yup, it matters.

    Would YOU want to be liable for giving advice about sex to a 13 year old?

    *I* certainly don't! Neither does the site.

    We do not answer questions on the ADULT sexuality boards without verifying that we are talking to an adult.
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