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Xeosx09 · Jan 7, 2011, 08:34 AM

Hi

I know this might come as stuipid but I need help to my questions I might be pregent and I go for a bloods test on Monday, and its bettween two guy's I just told them and one of them told me if I am and if it is him he want's nothing to do with it and he wants to sign his rights over. I know if I am I know I got to go to court for DNA. But my question is does he have a right to just sign it over or is it up to me? Does he get off that easy and if he signs over rights does he have to pay or will the courts make him pay or grant his rights termnation or denied it? I know this may sound stupid considering I might not even be but I just need to know in case if I am what should I do
Thank you

Xeosx09 · Jan 7, 2011, 08:47 AM

Hi

I know I might be getting a little ahead of myself here because right now I might be pregent and I will know for sure in two weeks. But I need answer's to my questions so I know what my options are if I am pregnant. I just told the 2 guy's who it's between and one of them said that he wants nothing to do with the child and he wants to sign his right's over as the fater if I am and if he's the father( I know I wld I have to go to court for DNA) if I am and he he is proven to be the father can the court just alow him to sign the right's over if I don't want him to. If I want to take him for child suport? And if he signs rights away does he still have to pay? Like I said I know I am getting ahead of myself ever, but it's better to be safe then sorry right? So what should I do?

camosmom23 · Jan 7, 2011, 09:05 AM

I think from everything I have ever heard that it really depends on the judge and the circumstances. I don't think they will allow him to just decide that he doesn't want to PAY so he signs over rights, but then again, I have heard that once he does, he has no obligation to the child so he won't have to pay. I would call your local Family Court office and ask them. They can tell you.

Synnen · Jan 7, 2011, 09:19 AM

No, he can't.

And even IF a COURT (a court terminates parental rights, not a person) decides to terminate his rights--well, parental rights and parental responsibility are two different things.

He WILL have to pay child support. If he didn't want children, he shouldn't have had sex.

What you should do is have a safe and healthy pregnancy, then go to court to establish paternity once the child is born. Once the child IS born, get a custody order and a child support order in place THROUGH THE COURT. If it's not done through the court, it's not official, and it WILL come back to bite you.

smoothy · Jan 7, 2011, 09:31 AM

I highly recommend using the search function at the top of the screen and type in Signing over parental rights.

Because children aren't used cars... you don't sign title to a kid over just like that. Period, ever... not in this country... and not in this day and age.

And if he could make the kid he should have a part in raising and paying for it... even if he never sees it. Maybe more women or girls will keep their legs closed and more guys will think twice about sleeping with anyone that will let them. Actions have consequences... some last a lifetime.

Do the search read up on it... please.

Synnen · Jan 7, 2011, 09:36 AM

Please ask your question only once. We are volunteers here, and sometimes it does take time to get a complete answer.

I have merged your questions.

Xeosx09 · Jan 7, 2011, 10:35 AM

[Synnen- sorry for the asking it twice my comp froze so I didn't know if it went through or not. But thank you for you're advice and his excuse is he isn't money wise and emontional wise ready so he said he signing rights over and when its born and it is his I should have the papers ready for him to sign.. I however want him to man up in other word put his big boy panites on and man up so that's why I was wondering if he can just decied on his own to sign over his rights. Should I infrom him of this info or should I take it to court if I am, and if he's the father

And smoothy - I agree, childern are not like care tittles and I want him to be invovled with the child life, and pay for it. It shouldn't be all on me he's as much as fault as I am for not wrapping it up. Thank you for telling me ware to search for

smoothy · Jan 7, 2011, 11:00 AM

I said that because so much has been said... laws quoted etc... everytihng can't be repeated in your thread.

Its going to take a lot of time to read through them... but you will gather a lot of knowledge.

Get the DNA test done... make the real father pay support. Even if he won't be in your life otherwise. After all it took two.

Xeosx09 · Jan 7, 2011, 11:58 AM

Exactly, I told him that last night it took two to tango and told that both of them, so as I am clear from what I am reading the guy can not just say I am sign his rights over its up to th courts, and even the judge grants it he still has to pay.

smoothy · Jan 7, 2011, 12:16 PM

He pays until the kid is formally and legally adopted by someone else or reaches legal age. That may range from 18 to 21 depending on where you live. Or unless they get themselve legally emancipated before then... but that's getting way ahead of things at this point.

That assumes you raise the child and have full custody... there are cases where the mother has to pay support to the custodial father.

Xeosx09 · Jan 7, 2011, 12:46 PM

If I am I am going to keep and raise it because that's the respondisble thing to do, and just trying to find out what I can do...

JudyKayTee · Jan 7, 2011, 03:12 PM

Originally Posted by camosmom23

I think from everything I have ever heard that it really depends on the judge and the circumstances. I dont think they will allow him to just decide that he doesnt want to PAY so he signs over rights, but then again, I have heard that once he does, he has no obligation to the child so he wont have to pay. I would call your local Family Court office and ask them. They can tell you.

Please don't guess at legal questions. I don't know where you heard that this depends on a Judge. It's a matter of State Law.

A PROVEN father cannot simply sign over his rights. If someone is willing to ADOPT the child, yes, the father would legally turn his rights over to that person IF the adoptive father is suitable. The rules/regulations vary by State. A father cannot just walk away.

Again, I have no idea where you "heard" any of this but you are incorrect.

JudyKayTee · Jan 7, 2011, 03:13 PM

Originally Posted by Xeosx09

if i am i am going to keep and raise it becaus thats the respondisble thing to do, and just trying to find out what i can do....

This is a legal board and I've given legal advice BUT the responsible thing isn't always to keep "it" - sometimes finding someone who will love a child and provide a secure and better life is the responsible thing to do.

Sorry to throw in the personal advice on a legal board but I felt it had to be said.

AK lawyer · Jan 7, 2011, 04:10 PM

Originally Posted by Xeosx09

... does he have a right to just sign it over or is it up to me? ...

As others have already said in this thread, "signing rights over" is not going to get him off the hook as far as child support goes.

You might want to read this sticky, if you haven't already done so.

ScottGem · Jan 7, 2011, 04:23 PM

AK linked you to a sticky note at the top of this forum. That sticky would have answered your questions. It's a good idea to browse around first before posting to see if you can find the answers to your questions.

Xeosx09 · Jan 7, 2011, 05:37 PM

JudyKayTee- thank you for your advice, I am From Delaware and I'm glad I came across this site because I always ashumed that a person can just hand over his or her right's and didn't have to pay, the info and kind words and adivce was helped(thank you all). I know at times keeping it may not be the right thing at times but I was raise you made your bed now you got to lay in it. How ever if I am and who ever is the father I will no let them get off that easly I will fight this. And now I know what I must do. It just sucks the men have to be like this. So what if he fails to pay for childsuport or show up for a DNA Test what would happened then

ScottGem · Jan 7, 2011, 05:41 PM

The world is full of deadbeat dads who will do anything to avoid their responsibility. However, if he has a regular job there are state agencies that will help you collect. No guarantees. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try.

I'm not sure where you got this idea that a father could just walk away. The father contributed to the child and has to contribute to its rearing, legally and morally.

JudyKayTee · Jan 7, 2011, 06:48 PM

Originally Posted by Xeosx09

JudyKayTee- thank you for your advice, i am From delaware and im glad i came accross this site because i always ashumed that a person can just hand over his or her right's and didn't have to pay, the info and kind words and adivce was helped(thank u all). I know at times keeping it may not be the right thing at times but i was raise u made ure bed now u gotta lay in it. how ever if i am and who ever is the father i will no let them get off that easly i will fight this. and now i know what i must do. it just sucks the men have to be like this. so what if he fails to pay for childsuport or show up for a DNA Test what would happend then

You are more than welcome - we all work as a team here. Hopefully different answers from different perspectives (and experience) will be helpful. Please stay with "us," let us know how things are going for you.

You have your answer about the father having to support the child. If he fails to show up for the DNA test there is a very good possibility that it will be adjourned and the Court will ORDER him to appear. If he still doesn't appear he can be arrested. That usually gets "him" in the lab. By the way, the DNA test has to be performed by a Court-recognized facility. You can't use a home test kit.

If he doesn't pay child support after a Court ORDERS it, then he can also be arrested for non-support and violation of a Court Order.

As you can see, there are options but they all take time.

In the meantime I believe you are acting in the best interest of your child. I am concerned that you are intending the raise the child because you feel it is some sort of "punishment" (and I know that's not a good word) for you for getting pregnant or something along those lines. I'm sure you are smart enough to do what is in the best interest of both your child... and you.

Please stay in touch.

And, again, thank you for your kind words.

smoothy · Jan 7, 2011, 07:44 PM

THere are a lot of Deadbeat moms as well, who dump their kids off on the father to run off and have a kid by another guy... plenty of shame to go around from both sides...

Just don't let him either sweet talk you or badger you out of getting child support from him. He made it let him pay for it... and not the taxpayers who are tired of paying for these lazy guys, most of whom I hesitate to call men.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 7, 2011, 08:13 PM

I will add a few follow up thoughts, many dead beat fathers, go though a system of trying to get out of paying. They will first lie, say the child is not theirs, say they can merely sign over their rights. Next they will do some threatening, say they have an attorney and they will take the baby from you as soon as it is born if they have to pay, ( this is a very common threat) They may say they will take the baby and run off ( like they really want a baby)

But the only thing you can do is make them pay, you can not make them take responsibility and see the child, you can't make them visit or do anything but pay.