[twistybikelock]

I have been dating this guy for about 5 months now. I recently found out that he was talking to another girl when we agreed that we were exclusively dating. He told me that he wasn't into my sexually but loved me as a friend and didn't know how to handle the situation (obviously there are a million better ways he could have handled it, but he chose a bad one). We basically didn't have sex for the past month of our relationship and it was as if we were friends.

Here is where it gets tricky. He wants to remain friends, and I kind of do too. I personally have known from the beginning of our relationship that he was probably not the right one for me in the long run. I knew deep down inside that he was not the one, but wanted someone around to enjoy my time with. Throughout this whole relationship, I had thought about ending it with him on a few occasions and just staying friends, because he is someone I enjoy spending time with. I feel like him talking to this other girl was the push I needed to finally go with my true feelings of not being in a sexual relationship with him. I really don't care if he dates other girls, because I know I can do much better, but wouldn't mind hanging out with him as a friend.

I want to take a break from him to focus on myself for a while, but does it seem completely irrational for me to eventually want to be friends with him again since I knew our relationship was going nowhere?

[yoga.gal]

I know how you feel. I have recently (it happened this summer) broken up with my boyfriend of 3years... I had known for a while before we broke up that he wasn't right for me longterm and both of us want to stay friends (eventually).

However!. we tried staying friends and I must warn you, it gets very very complicated. Issues of jealousy and rejection arise... also creating a new platonic atmosphere with a past lover is difficult. Plus my ex is also in love with a new woman but wanted to keep me around for an emotionally supportive friendship which inevitably prevented me from truly moving on.

I still hope that we can stay friends and I wish you the best in this too... but I would say definitely don't try to be friends yet. Get space and distance from him now. Cut all contact (it is difficult but the much better decision). Then in the future when you both have moved on... you will either not care about him anymore and it won't bother you that you are not friends or you will be able to re-establish your friendship. Best of luck!

[Devorameira]

yoga.gal is right. It's possible for you to remain friends, but it's a rough road.

In my opinion, it's far easier to just move on without him in your life.

[sHAKEs]

You can tie up the broken rope of your love, but every time when you look at it the knot will be there in between forever. Casual friendship is OK, with common friends etc. but not like an only friend. I hope you got it. Good Luck.