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ckidd75 · Jan 4, 2011, 08:53 AM

A girl has come forward after 5 years and said that my boyfriend fathers her child. I want him to be an active parent in this boys life if he is the daddy. My boyfriend was recently diagnosed with Leukemia and may not beat his battle. My wonder is this chic out for money and using her son in the preocess. I want my boyfriend to fight for joint custody and make it a point to let the courts know he will be claiming him on his taxes every year. What can we do to make this go any smoother for this innocent little boy and what is my boyfriends rights as an absent father who never knew he was the father.

smoothy · Jan 4, 2011, 09:23 AM

DNA tests are VERY accurate... I would get that any time someone accused me of fathering their child. Maybe even commission my own test to be run.

Far too many times a woman will go after the wrong man. But if he actually IS the father... then I have no doubt you want to do the right thing... but don't assume the child is or admit anything until you get the test results.

kjeanne · Jan 15, 2011, 09:35 PM

WHy would you even be worried about claiming him on taxes at such a premature point in the process? It is generally the parent with more custody that claims the child. Once he is proven the father (assuming), then you'd petition the court to change the last name if the maother doesn't agree. Once he is proven the father (again, assuming) then he would likely start with visitations because the child does not know him.. as time goes by you file for more visitation and eventually joint custody. The courts aren't usually for sending a child straight into a strangers home as it could be traumatic for the child. Be sure the courts know you are looking for the child's best interest and they are more inclined to work with you.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 15, 2011, 11:20 PM

First often if the women is having to file for welfare they will make them name the father, ( or list of possible fathers)
Not saying this is the case, but one reason they wait

But he takes the DNA test ( court ordered? ) from a reliable lab. And then he cann file for visits or joint custody,
For joint I am fairly sure they would require a length of time for visits fist to get to know each other.

He will not get to file them on taxes every year, the person who has primary custody or who the chlld lives with the most. Or the one who is listed in the custody papers to get to file. At most with joint he may get every other, not every.

But unless the child and mother lives in the same town and same school district, joint will be hard to get. So expect him more to get visits and have to pay child suppot