[tmorzenti]

My boyfriend, the absolute love of my life, is suffering from... what I believe to be a drinking problem. We have been together for over a year and I can think of 3 times were he has pissed himself or in the wrong place (ie: his bedroom floor, my bed, living room).
He says that he is used to being outside (he does camp a lot, and did live out of his car for a while) and when you are outside you can just pee anywhere.
He blacks out often when he goes out to drink. He realizes this and just the other day said to me "its been 10 days since I blacked out last!" talking likes its an accomplishment, then he said "hey you gotta start somewhere, thats better than blacking out the last 10 nights" Is that awful or is it just me?
But then he says when I drink I get just as drunk (I do NOT... maybe my freshman year of college before I knew him, not anymore)
Sometimes he drinks 1 40oz by himself while home on the computer (is this weird or is it just me?)
He has quit drinking for his 26th birthday for 26 days. I asked him why and he said because "he feels like it". The only 2 times I can recall us actually fighting about something involved him drunk both times, I had been drinking 1 times as well.
He has a great job, he is the most motivated person I have ever met, and the most kind to EVERYone, I love it. He picks up trash, wants to save the world with me, he makes me the happiest person alive. We have plans of joining the Peace Corps together and so many other things...
But his drinking scares me. What should I do!

[joypulv]

Blackouts are surely a sign, but there's something about the way you are handling it that bothers me... such as when you say 'Is that awful or is it just me.' He's holding his job and is motivated and active, characteristics that don't jibe so well with what you are describing. We are not hearing his side, so can't pass judgment. When you are in a relationship with someone who drinks a lot, you basically have 2 choices: leave or stay. You can issue an ultimatum if you want about how you are going to leave if specific, countable things don't happen by a certain date and for a certain length of time, but it is fruitless to argue.
I wouldn't let the richest, handsomest, sweetest guy in the world piss my bed or house more than once. I probably would issue an ultimatum about that subject. But if you do, follow through.

[DrBill100]

It sounds as if you are uncertain about whether your boyfriend has a "drinking problem." Following is a link to Al-Anon, a group for those who live with problem drinkers. A couple of visits and discussions with other members (they have been through the same turmoil) should go a long way toward clarifying your concerns in one direction or the other.

These groups are nationwide, free, and confidential. It sounds like that would be a good start in initially defining the problem, if one exists.

Welcome to Al-Anon and Alateen