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sezmepanda · Dec 15, 2010, 11:17 AM

All right, so my best friend means EVERYTHING to me. I love her so much. We've been close since 7th grade. But ever since high school, I think I've been jealous of her? I can't even lie, she's GORGEOUS. All these guys think she's just perfect and I always feel ugly, left out and not good enough when I'm around her. All the guys I've liked have either tried to get with her, or talk to her. And it depresses me. Our personalities are the same. We're both outgoing and funny, you know? But guys STILL go for her, just because of her looks. I've tried talking to her about and she's just like "Have some self confidence" or "Not all guys like me" and blah blah blah. She pretends like she doesn't know how gorgeous she is and how many guys like her. People tell her ALL. THE. TIME how she's pretty and I very rarely get told that. I think I'm pretty; in fact, I know I'm pretty. Or at least not bad looking. But I don't get it? How do I stop feeling like this? My confidence is like a rollercoaster. When I'm not around her, my confidence is high. But when I am, it just gets low. I don't want to stop being her friend over something like this. We've been close for almost 4 years and I can't just let that go. Help?

sharper11 · Dec 15, 2010, 11:41 AM

Unfortunately, there is no "quick fix" for feelings. It is completely normal to feel this way though. If she tryuly is your best friend, you will have to accept the fact that she is "pretty" and get a lot of attention.

You kind of have to look at it like this: She isn't really doing anything wrong, and you cannot change the way people react to her (boys in your case). If she is a true friend, if she knows you like a guy, but the guy is hitting on her, she needs to tell him to back off.

As for relationships:
You will eventually meet a guy who is not SWOONING over your friend. And he will like you for YOU.

ramona_ · Dec 15, 2010, 12:54 PM

Its normal to feel this way but when you get older you'll start to realise that you are your own person and people will like you for who you are and they may not like her as much as you. She might be jealous of you also, she probably thinks you're absolutely beautiful and is jealous of the attention you get because you may not notice how much attention you get off other people because you're focusing on her. You are beautiful and you are your own person. Just like sharper11 said, there's no "quick fix" but soon you will come to terms with the fact you don't need to be jealous of anybody else, there are probably people who are jealous of you as well. Don't let this get to you because it could put a strain on your friendship..

sezmepanda · Dec 15, 2010, 01:22 PM

No, but she's the one that means to most to be, considering she's my best friend. So she's the only one I will care for at this point.

sezmepanda · Dec 15, 2010, 01:22 PM

*me.

cdad · Dec 15, 2010, 02:43 PM

First off do you read what you write?

" Our personalities are the same. We're both outgoing and funny, ya know? But guys STILL go for her, just because of her looks."

Do you really want someone THAT shallow or are you looking for someone who actually wants you and the personality that goes with it ?

Looks aren't everything and that isn't just a cliché. Its true. You need to work this out in your own head but from the sounds of it your friend is a great filter for you and your not even seeing it. Look at all the time you didn't have to waste in the "shallow" end of the gene pool. You have higher standards and your not letting that stop you. That is actually a positive goal. You are your own role model.

So don't waste your energies on negative thinking. Enjoy your friendship. And watch as the filter works.