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__JC__ · Dec 11, 2010, 02:13 AM

Hi I don't know how to start so I will try my best.

I have been going out with my girlfriend for two years and I love her so much, but recently she is just totally stressed and keeps taking it out on me. We have both decided to stay together at uni and we knew it would be a hard choice. Its now exam time and she came out with "i have had doubts for a few days now" and told me not to call her. She has never said this before and I'm pretty stressed and upset about because I'm not sure what to do. We have a strong relationship but when I asked her if it was exam stress she said it wasn't, then it was?

I haven't seen her in three weeks and have been trying to chat over skype but its not the same as face to face. She is by far not a nasty girl she is very shy and quiet and it can be quite difficult to speak to her about things that are on her mind because all she says is "i dont know" She seems resigned to the fact that we will break up? I said I couldn't see it happening but she just seems so down and stressed. She hasn't been like this before. We had been fine the a few days previous and I can't see how she could turn so quickly.

I really want to put it down to exam stress but so many different scenarios are running out in my head at the moment that I am losing sleep. She means a lot to me and it would be a shame to let it go so quickly. I told her I loved her and she said OK and when I asked her if she wanted to dump me she wouldn't and said she need time to think.

Any help would be much appreciated Thank you.

ironhide262 · Dec 11, 2010, 06:31 AM

I have to be honest though, from my experience it does seem like she wants a break up. All the classic signs are there. She's ( like most people in her place) just trying to let you down easy. Also, she has been thinking about this for a while, she didn't just turn on you... it's been brewing for a while now and like most of us you just didn't see the signs.

I think deep down in your gut you know what is going on. Don't loose all your dignity by getting on your knees and begging, pleading for her to stay with you. Once a woman makes a decision like this they rarely change their minds. This is not exam stress and if it was some other problem she would be talking to you about it instead of needing "time to think".

You can do one of 2 things here. You can let things play out naturally where she will finally drop the bomb after she has "weened" herself off you. OR. You can make the call now and decide that you think it is time to breakup( I know you don't want to do that). Why be put on the shelf and be walking on broken glass while she draws this out for her benefit. It's easy for me to suggest that but, looking back, I wish I trusted my gut and not wasted a single moment more and broke it off.

Good luck with whatever you choose.

talaniman · Dec 11, 2010, 06:57 AM

She is hoping you walk away, and save her the guilt of dumping you. Don't worry though, she will eventually get up the courage to do the deed herself, and in the meantime, your confusion will keep you wondering and assuming.

Disappear from her life, whether you want to, or not. She did tell you to stop talking to her. So all your doing now is NOT listening. You can only avoid the inevitable for so long before it hits you between the eyes.

Sorry to have to tell you.

Devorameira · Dec 11, 2010, 07:41 AM

I have to agree with ironhide and tal. So sorry, but this girl is plain out wanting to break up with you.

It's impossible for any of us to know what's going on in her mind, so why this is happening is anybody's guess. I know it's tough to take, but you need to accept the reality of the situation, go complete no contact, and move on.