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    Ordeal's Avatar
    Ordeal Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 9, 2010, 03:59 PM
    Together 9 months, she tells me "I need space."... Now what?
    I'll try to keep this somewhat short...

    We met online in February, and it was great. We immediately hit it off. However, she recently told me "I need space." because she felt I was smothering her, she felt like she was married, and wasn't ready for a commitment. We both want to meet each other, but due to our age differences, our parents won't allow it.

    I've read everywhere to just do the obvious right now - give her space. I've been told to expect the worst, and I'm trying. I've expected the worst from day one, but it doesn't make things any easier.

    She tells me all the time she loves me - before I even say I love her. She keeps pictures and videos of me on her phone/computer. She says she wants to by my first, and for me to be hers. I am just confused right now. She has told me "I don't want to hurt you..." so the things she's saying may just be her way of cowardly getting out of this, but I don't think she could be capable of that, considering what her last boyfriend did to her.

    Just. What should I expect? What do I do? How can I cope.. Thanks a lot for reading.
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #2

    Dec 9, 2010, 05:37 PM

    What is your age difference?

    I think you already know what to do, now you have to actually do it. Give her space and focus on yourself.
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
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    #3

    Dec 9, 2010, 05:45 PM

    How old are you two?

    So... you two haven't met yet?

    If you two haven't met yet, how does she feel that you are smothering her?

    Well, regardless, it's obvious that someone is a minor, or else Parents approval wouldn't really be an issue.

    As far as being in love with each other, how does that happen when you two haven't even met, in person that is?
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #4

    Dec 9, 2010, 06:37 PM

    When someone asks for space, you give them space. That's all you can do. It takes two people to have a relationship. If one of those people doesn't want a relationship, there is none.

    Go to no contact, find someone else, preferably someone you're allowed to date legally, and someone that you can date in person.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Dec 9, 2010, 09:27 PM

    Maybe you need more things in the real world to do, to balance your world because you may be a bit carried away and unrealistic expecting so much from this online love thing.
    Ordeal's Avatar
    Ordeal Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Dec 10, 2010, 01:45 PM
    I'm 19, and she's 16.
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #7

    Dec 10, 2010, 02:53 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Ordeal View Post
    I'm 19, and she's 16.
    Oh dear. Dude leave this be for a real girl you can meet and one that is above the age of 18. It may be legal in your area but I think you are just asking for trouble. Also you need to not get so emotionally involved right up front. In fact you role as the man is to make it fun. If she gets emotional, fine, but don't start reading too much into it. Keep it fun and make it fun.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #8

    Dec 10, 2010, 04:19 PM

    I have to spread the rep Chuff, but I agree.

    Dating should be fun. At 19 you should be out there dating, not making every little flirtation into a serious relationship.

    There's plenty of time to get serious, and when you do, I hope you pick a girl you can actually meet face to face. Online romances are for people in prison. Go out, live, meet real people and have fun!
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