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lbladylala · Nov 25, 2010, 06:01 PM

Honestly, this is a whole lot. I feel like on the twilight series - jacob- bella- and edward. I am trying to choose between two amazing guys. Their names are Coby and Cash. Cash and I dated for several weeks, and it was a serious relationship, but not "that" serious. I honestly miss cash a whole lot, and he was a great boyfriend, and I was in love with him. My parents loved him, and they want me to date him again, but I'm not for sure if I want to.
Now I am with coby, and he is an amazing boyfriend. We have been only dating for 2 weeks, and its been pretty serious, he seems to care a lot about me, and its protective of me. My parents love him as well, but don't like the fact that I broke up with coby for cash, which I did because I stopped liking cash. I love coby, and I wish I could be with him every minute of the day.
I am hoping to find the right guy to choose, and I want to follow my heart, but its not answering me. Please help me, and feel free to ask questions. This is hurting me bad

Jake2008 · Nov 26, 2010, 12:48 AM

The way I see it, is you have an ex boyfriend, and you have a current boyfriend. You don't have both at the same time, nor can you make two boyfriends work at the same time anyway.

That you still miss your ex, says that you are not over him. Perhaps you started dating the new boyfriend, too soon. While you have one foot in the past, and one in the present, you are not really free to be devoted, or committed, to either one. It is particularly unfair to have your new boyfriend think he is the 'only' one, when you have active thoughts about being with the ex.

With all that being said, you have to factor in how much your parents are influencing your decisions. It is really a plus to you, that you are so considerate and respectful of their opinions, but when you are old enough to date, you are old enough to make your own decisions about who you want to date, based on your own decisions. Because anybody else can have an opinion- your girlfriends, parents, siblings etc. does not necessarily mean, that their observations of what is right for you, is actually right for you. Only you can decide that.

It is usually a good idea, when you go through a breakup, to allow yourself enough time to heal. Nature has a way of providing us with insight and understanding if we listen, and take our time to reflect on what has been lost, and learn how to heal, and be truly free to move on. I'm thinking that you may have missed the opportunity to be on your own, before starting into a new relationship.

Maybe, just maybe, you may not be feeling the conflicting emotions you are, now had you taken the time to really end one relationship, before beginning another.

lbladylala · Nov 26, 2010, 12:23 PM

Thanks, I do thank that is a very thoughtfull answer, and I did need to consider letting my heart heal. I will have to think myself through, and give it some time. Thanks again

Jake2008 · Nov 26, 2010, 02:22 PM

You're very welcome. All this experience will serve you well in the future, and, I'm impressed that you are yourself, being so considerate of people in your life.

Take good care of yourself.

lbladylala · Dec 6, 2010, 02:15 PM

Thank you again

lbladylala · Dec 6, 2010, 02:21 PM

Turns out, Coby out of all of them truly did not care too much of me, but for my body. He broke up with me recently and I cried for a while, but soon after began to realize what a Jerk he is. I found what I did cash wrong, and mistreated him, and broke his heart several times, and reached his stopping point, where his guard is up. The one who I thought I truly loved had found to have beaten the crap out of his brother at my home for a ball. So I am now going to watch out, and care more about myself then a harmfull guy. I decided now to just sit back and stay single for a while, until I find the one who will actually care for me, and understand my feelings.