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Chrividcha · Nov 17, 2010, 12:26 PM

My MIL recently found out that she has cancer. She legally adopted my niece when she was born and has since gained custody of my nephew. She would like for my husband and I to have the kids when she passes but we don't know what is the best course of action to get this done. Should we file for joint custody now or is there something that we can set up to allow us to have full custody after her death? She wants this handled now as opposed to afterwards. Any and all advice will be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

this8384 · Nov 17, 2010, 12:40 PM

Originally Posted by Chrividcha

My MIL recently found out that she has cancer. She legally adopted my niece when she was born and has since gained custody of my nephew. She would like for my husband and I to have the kids when she passes but we don't know what is the best course of action to get this done. Should we file for joint custody now or is there something that we can set up to allow us to have full custody after her death? She wants this handled now as opposed to afterwards. Any and all advice will be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

If she is the only legal parent to the niece, she should be able to appoint guardianship to you without any issues.

The nephew is a bit more tricky. You stated that she only has guardianship of him, not that he is her legal child.

Have you consulted with an attorney in your area? Laws vary greatly from state-to-state and if you're trying to arrange an adoption/guardianship in the event of death, it would be best to have someone who knows the law handle the situation for you.

cdad · Nov 17, 2010, 02:48 PM

She can allow for an adoption now of the niece while she is still alive. There is no other way to "will" you the child or children. How did she get guardianship of the nephew? Maybe you can jump in on that process and adopt both at the same time.

Chrividcha · Nov 19, 2010, 05:25 AM

Yes, I thought things would have to be done now, also. As for my nephew, yes, she only has custody right now. My SIL is a habitual drug user and has lost all of her children that she's had. My MIL gained my niece while the SIL was in prison. My nephew was taken away by CPS for abandonment, he was left with a neighbor for a month. I figured that the transition of guardianship of my niece would be fairly easy but I was concerned over my nephew. Any advice on how to handle that? My husband and I do expect a fight from his sister as she is 1) unstable and 2) would do anything to hurt us. My husband disowned her several years ago and she has not be allowed to be around our children. My MIL will be talking to a lawyer on how to handle this. I would just like more than one opinion on what could be done. Again, thank you for all of your answers. Any extra advice would be great. :)