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jwec · Nov 13, 2010, 06:37 PM

I go to a TV and Sound program for school to gain credit for school and my college year. And I met this girl last year in my class. She has a one year older boyfriend who plays guitar and is kind of chubby and kind of emo a bit. Well last year she said hereself "If I didn't have a boyfriend, I would go out with you." And of course I would too but her boyfriend is in the way. And let me tell you something about her boyfriend that you should know. He literally controls this girl so much and gets jealous so easily. I messaged her on Facebook and YouTube and she never replied or accept my friend request. She told me that her boyfriend goes on her accounts. I don't know why but it seems her boyfriend doesn't know the lesson about trust in their relationship. Also this girl writes how she loves her boyfriend and she even has an email of her first name and his last name like their married or something. I kind of joked around saying she could work for me because I want to be a filmmaker and she wants to be a video editor and she said she would. But I really do think she likes me but she doesn't want to leave her boyfriend. Im not sure if it's really love between them or if she feels like she can't leave him. I need help!!

jwec · Nov 13, 2010, 06:38 PM

Or maybe she thinks she loves him but inside she really doesn't? IDK! HELP!!

kaka67 · Nov 13, 2010, 08:25 PM

None of you business what is happening in her relationship.

She's with him not you. That should be telling you something if you opened your eyes.

As you said "she really doesnt want to leave her boyfriend".

squeak4svs · Nov 20, 2010, 05:26 AM

Tough place to be in, been there done that. And the result... nowhere. All you can do is be there for here, support her and be a good friend. Whether she loves him or not she has to discover that on her own and in her own time. She might get the courage to tell her boyfriend that he's being controlling or whatever, he might change. Or not and then she may leave him, but whatever happens just be by her side. Talk to her and ask her how she really feels about her boyfriend, if she says she loves him then there isn't too much you can do.. But hang in there, and be the shoulder for her to cry on. Hope it works out for you

pandead · Nov 20, 2010, 05:36 AM

"If I didn't have a boyfriend I would go out with you" means you have a potential to be second choice (it actually means "I don't want to break your heart and I'd like to keep you around just in case" to me.) Do you want to be a second choice? How would you feel if some random guy who likes your girlfriend was messaging and friend requesting her? Would you tell her to go ahead?

She "writes how she loves her boyfriend and she even has an email of her first name and his last name like they're married"... Are you going to get the hint? She WANTS to be with him. You are just an ego booster for her. Wake up.

Cat1864 · Nov 20, 2010, 08:21 AM

Well last year she said hereself "If I didn't have a boyfriend, I would go out with you."

That sounds like something that is said as a compliment or to boost your ego. It's like saying, 'you're a great guy and some day you will find some one.' It does not mean she wants to be that girl or that she wants you fawning all over her.

Her relationship with her boyfriend is just that HERS not yours. In fact, trying to weasel your way into her life is nearly as bad as him supposedly controlling her. Both of you would be doing what you want instead of her exercising her right to make choices for herself. It sounds like she has made her choice. Respect it if you respect her.

Be her friend IF you are friends. Take off the blinders so that you can see the available females all around you who might be better suited to be a girlfriend for you. Good luck.