[bubblegum4u]

Well, it's a long story. For short it all happened within a year. I met this amazing person. The first guy in my life.

His story: He was a very smart, well educated man. Now he's a doctor. He was in love with this girl. They had been together all their youth life. And then came a time when her biological clock started screaming and she wanted him to marry her. But he wanted to complete his career. She left him. He wanted her to come back but she wouldn't. Because he still was not ready to get married. And after a year since they broke up I met him. But he was still in contact with her from time to time.
For me I fell in love with him at one instant, like love at first sight. I was in love with his personality, and as I started to get to know him he was more than what meets the eye. He was beyond my ideal love. I started noticing his habits, he did many things like me. He was so much like me. Well I did not want to tell my parents about it so I would just sneak out to meet him. We met a few times. It was like a fairy tale. We were standing in the park and he was holding my hands to warm... okay enough of the story back to reality
Well I called him to ask him why he didn't marry her. He said there were many problems and they drifted apart. Then he went on like he started missing her, saying he bought the ring for her and they had the same friends all those years. To me he sounded like he still loves his ex. He told me once that she was his soul mate. But this was way back when we started talking.
Now I have no contact with him I told him to stop all the texting and emailing. But then I would talk to him the next day like nothing happened. I felt like I messed up. What do you guys think did I do anything wrong? He still replies me so nicely but I don't want him to think that I'm weird because I talk one day and stop the next.

[serenemeadow]

It is normal for you to feel like he's the perfect one for you in the early stages of the relationship. Like you said, "I met this amazing person. The first guy in my life." Its called the honeymoon stage and it is based mostly on infatuation. Every couple goes through stage in the beginning of the relationship, and I guarantee that even after you have five ex-boyfriends, you will feel that special warm fuzzy love again with a new love interest.

Now onto what matters. This man is obviously not over his ex, it will probably take him a while as he actually wanted to marry her. His mentioning of buying the ring and that "he started missing her" proves the point. T also looks like he hasn't given up, that means he hasn't let go of her. He may be comparing you to his ex since he seems to still be longing for her, and that hurts a lot on your part if you knew.

As for your question, I suggest you have a real good talk about the situation. The best thing is to talk to him about it, since he and you are in a relationship. The lines of communication have to be kept open. I learned this the hard way. I wish you luck.

[gara]

I Think you should open up these topic for him , and what you have in your chest , I know it's kind of hard , but the more you keep the more the mestrioues though you will have in your mind , so why stoping yourself if you loved the guy, guys love questions, so please don't act werid , it's normal , but I would advice you to tell him and discuess about it

[flowerchildfala]

You really need to disscuss this with him because he seems to still really care about the ex and hasn't let her go! Don't be his rebound girl!

[talaniman]

Nice romantic, fairy tale. In reality though, you talk and get facts, so you can make a decision. So far you have done a lot of assuming, and very little back and forth communicating.

Talaniman Rules-Never assume that your feelings are shared by any one else.

Talaniman Rule- never be in a hurry to give your heart to a stranger. Wait until they have proven they deserve it, and know what to do with it.

Talaniman Rule- Doesn't matter how intense the feelings, or how much fun you have, never give your heart to someone you don't know well, and that's only after the lust has worn off for you both.

Talaniman Rule- Never get involved with someone who has just been dumped.

Talaniman Rule - Don't miss other opportunities and options because your stuck on someone who is not as stuck on you, that's just plain crazy.

Talaniman Rule- Be honest with yourself, and be honest with others.

Talaniman Rule- Give yourself 6 months of dating and getting to know someone, before you decide together to be DATING EXCLUSIVELY, and having fun getting to know each other.

Talaniman Rule-If you can't handle the consequences, don't do the action.

Maybe he is ready for what you want, maybe he isn't. That's where you talk and listen as you slowly get to know each other better. Word to the wise though, stop the hot and cold treatment, and stop the fairy tale expectations and keep it real, and most of all honest.

Speaking of honest, he doesn't seem to be pursuing you very hard, so pay attention.

Talaniman Rule-Never put all your eggs in a stranger's basket. Save some for your own basket.

Its only been year, he is still a stranger and there is a lot more about him yet to be learned.

[lonely2010]

Seems not so right , pay attention