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    bman800's Avatar
    bman800 Posts: 19, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Aug 14, 2009, 04:06 AM
    I thought I loved her she wants to make me happy bu I have doubts
    She wants to make me happy but I have doubts I seem to think there is no spark no future , she sees a whole lifetime of a future , I kind of want to break up, but don't want to hurt her, feel like I'm toofar in to turn back, please help , ihave good intentions .and am a good man
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #2

    Aug 14, 2009, 04:10 AM
    How long have you had these doubts?what triggered them?how sure are you? I think you d hurt her more if you stay in a relationship where you don't truly want to be.
    bman800's Avatar
    bman800 Posts: 19, Reputation: 2
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    #3

    Aug 15, 2009, 02:52 AM

    Wel we broke up for a bit and shortly after that I started to think do ireally wan her back (while I had her ) I'm prety sure every thing is true , ikinda don't want to be with her, but she is also works in the same building I want to give her a chance but I don't see it, she could make me happy but not the kind of happy I want , now adays when she asks question like tell excactly what you think our future or will we be together forever ifeel like I'm lying , but she's always been there,I thought and think ilov her but duno I just don't feel motovated to make I work
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #4

    Aug 15, 2009, 09:29 AM

    Then you should be honest with her.
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #5

    Aug 15, 2009, 09:34 AM

    Staying in a relationship that you don't want to be in is cheating both of you.

    You are denying yourself the opportunity to meet someone you can have a future with and so is she.

    No one wins if you stay together out of a sense of guilt or because you don't want to hurt her.

    If you let it progress,you will only hurt her more,because at some point you will not be able to live a lie.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #6

    Aug 15, 2009, 12:19 PM
    If you are a good man like you say then you need to be upfront with him instead of prolonging a break-up with him. This will only lead to you mistreating her because you will want her to get a clue and leave or resentment towards her.

    You might not want to hurt her but your hurting her by staying espaecially when you don't want to. Yes, he feelings might be hurt and she might grt mad at you but once the smoke has clear she will respect and understand your honesty. Time to be honesty and man up.
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
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    #7

    Aug 15, 2009, 12:51 PM
    I kind of want to break up, but don't want to hurt her, feel like I'm too far in to turn back, please help , I have good intentions
    I feel you need to be a little more decisive than this. Do you want to break up or don't you? You have to make that call. And if it's yes, then you just have to do it. It may not be easy and yes, she may get hurt but would you rather face the consequences of staying together? You aren't responsible for her reactions and she will get over it and move on. Hopefully you haven't lied to her or led her on. But even if you have you should just swallow your pride and beg for forgiveness. Bottom line is, either the sparks are flying for you or they aren't ; you can't force that to happen.
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