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Broken_Heart11 · Nov 10, 2010, 10:03 AM

I was cheated on so bad by a girl as her ex-online boyfriend returned to her. I tried to forget her, but I could not. And when I try to start meeting a girl, I feel more depressed and mellacholy. I cannot think of starting a new relationship any more. I do not know whether it is " missing her or complication". Please I need your help, particularly that affects my job and my mental spirit and even my health...

smoothy · Nov 10, 2010, 10:30 AM

You find a hobby and focus on it... or your job... etc. You clearly aren't ready to go dating just yet. Sometimes you just HAVE to grow a pair and man up... look at the crap she dished out to you and decide for yourself she isn't worth obsessing over. That assumes she actually has value which is abundently clear from her actions she doesn't.

But the root thing here is focus... the more you focus on something productive the less you are able to focus on the unproductive things. Eventually you get over it and in fact one day you will even forget her name.

JUst understand there is nearly always a short period when any relationship falls apart that you will feel like crap. If you didn't, then you are a true narcicist. I don't believe you are one of those.

Devorameira · Nov 10, 2010, 11:28 AM

It's really hard to trust again after you've gotten burnt. Just try to remember that she's an exception, not the norm.

You really do need to take the time to heal. It's way too early for you to get involved with anyone else. Just give it time... it will get better.

ironhide262 · Nov 10, 2010, 05:38 PM

How long has it been since the split up? Are you still in contact with her?

Fr_Chuck · Nov 10, 2010, 05:46 PM

Agree, how long were you with your now ex,

How long has it been, 2 week , 2 month or a year makes the answers different

And agree do you still have contact, are you looking at Facebook and more

Broken_Heart11 · Nov 10, 2010, 10:13 PM

We have splitted up for two months. It was a strange love story and I wrote about it in my last question "What do i have to do, and what shall I have to do". She tried to contact me and return to me, but I tried to be rough with her, and I know inside me that I miss her so much. I stopped contacting her, but I am still chasing her moves and her news without she feels that.She haunts my head wherever I go.. I am still thinking of her all the time, and I know that she does not deserve that...

smoothy · Nov 11, 2010, 06:01 AM

You know what... this really is simple once you have some life experience under your belt.

If you have to work HARD at a relationship... then something is wrong and it isn't meant to be. Don't waste your time trying to put a square peg in a round hole.

When you have found the right person... everything falls into place.. yeah you might have the occaisonal disagreement, but you won't have to fight and negotiate every single facet of your life every day.

Now you can waste a lot of your life fixated on something that's never, ever going to work... and if it isn't right, then there is NOTHING you could ever do to "Fix" it.

But then, if you really, REALLY like being treated like a floor mat, and LIKE being unhappy, then by all means keep right on doing what you are doing. But if you do... then don't complain because you are getting exactly what you want. Or consider the fact... if she finds this irritating, you can have you charged with stalking... and yes... eventually she's going to do that if she doesn't want your attention.

Its not healthy... and its not going to achieve anything good.

Move on... find someone that is a better match... this one ISN'T a match.

YOU have to "man up". Its going to hurt for a little while... but eventually your brain starts to see things the right way and you then understand it wasn't meant to be... and you find a woman where you won't have this sort of drama... and trust me... there are a lot out there that are better.