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    qwerty108's Avatar
    qwerty108 Posts: 55, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Nov 4, 2010, 07:19 AM
    Casually dating a girl I like
    Ok, about 2 weeks I stumbled upon a situation where a girl I liked for awhile has recently become single. We hung out with her boyfriend the past year or so, and she told me she had feelings for me as of late now that she's single. We hung out, got to know each other, and things got physical. I had broke things off with a girl I had kind of been seeing but we were keeping out options open, and honestly, I think it was a good move to just cut ties at this point with her. So things have been great the past couple weeks, I start to really understand her, and I open up to her more and more each time we hang out. The other night she goes and hangs out with another "new guy friend". It upsets me and I let her know because we'd been hanging out so much and I didn't understand her thinking. She tells me she's not used to casually dating multiple guys and wants to meet new and interesting people. She says she knows what she wants and wants to find the perfect one for herself. So right away I question "am I not the one for her?" It bugs me because she said that "it's not going to work, and that she knows my type"... Ok, so I've hung with this single girl for about 2 weeks, and she can already see that? I clear a few things up, and she changes her view to "I like you, but want both of us to find who's best for us, I don't want to change you" I want to find that someone that changes me for the better! We all have flaws, and there are things I need to change, and it will help when I find someone. I don't know what to do because I'm liking her more and more, yet I get frustrated she wants to casually date other people. I don't have girls lined up, unlike her recently single self who has lots of guys talking to her now. She says she knows what she wants, and isn't going to waste her time with guys who she's not interested in. So it makes me feel like I'm 1 out of 10 or 15 guys. This is playing out like a gameshow, but I guess that's dating. Any help or guidance is appreciated. She still wants to hang out with me and do physical stuff as well as be a good friend. But I'm not suer I can handle her doing the same with other guys.
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
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    #2

    Nov 4, 2010, 07:25 AM

    She's on the rebound. That said, don't count on getting serious with her. If she wants to still "hang out and do physical stuff" then you need to decide if that's acceptable to you, knowing that it'll never be more than that. If so, then go for it. If not, then scratch her off the list.
    qwerty108's Avatar
    qwerty108 Posts: 55, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Nov 4, 2010, 07:37 AM
    I told her I don't want to be a rebound, and she said that I wasn't because she actually liked me while she was still dating her previous boyfriend, and was curious about me. She thought that's all I wanted was the physical stuff, but after explaining to her why I said what I said months ago she changed her tone. I'm willing to settle down with someone if it's right. After hanging out with her, I'm interested even more and emotions are becoming involved... yet she says she likes me and wants to see where things lead. I just don't care for the fact she's out doing the same with other guys, and nice guys like me end up getting burnt in this type of situation.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,318, Reputation: 10854
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    #4

    Nov 4, 2010, 11:04 AM

    Nice guys like you get burnt because they don't accept someone being honest, and have different view points than you do. You just keep falling deeper and deeper instead of say Okay cool, and enjoying what is, or leaving it alone.

    Talaniman Rule - Date them all, short, fat, skinny, or tall. 18- 80, blind, cripple or crazy.

    That's what she is doing, and isn't looking for deep forever love, and since you are, scratch her off the list, and look elsewhere. You don't hang around in situation don't work for you, that makes it worse, so remove yourself.

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