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    GAYMANINNEED Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Oct 27, 2010, 11:14 PM
    Help gay man in need of advice.
    OK here is the thing... I am in love with a straight man... He is really Bi but to the world he is straight... I have had sex with him off and on for like 10 yrs... He has ripped my heart out and set if on fire... I can not fall for anyone because when I do I run to avoid that pain... I need to move on but I can not help wondering why he can not be honest with the world... he tells me he loves me but still hides who he is... he is in a relationship with a woman who is now pregnant with their first child... I know that I can not do anything to ruin this relationship because the child never asked to be born and to destroy it's chances at a normal life would be WRONG of me... I need to know how to move on and forget the only man I have ever loved... Outting him is not an option by the way... Sincerely MAN IN NEED
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
    Uber Member

    Oct 28, 2010, 12:28 AM

    You might find the advice that you'll find in some of the stickies at the top of the following forum topic area to be beneficial for you to read.

    CravenMorhead's Avatar
    CravenMorhead Posts: 4,532, Reputation: 1065
    Adult Sexuality Expert

    Oct 28, 2010, 12:30 PM

    Well. First off eliminate him from your life. Don't talk to him. Don't interact with him at all. Electronically or physically. You need to get away from the influence on your life so that you can heal.

    So no face-stalking him. No phone calls or going to the coffee shop in his neighbourhood. Put away all the pictures and reminders from him. You don't need to forget him, you just need to make sure that he isn't the first and top thing on your mind.

    Once you got that, you can heal. Careful not to rebound on anyone though. That isn't fair to either of you.

    Hopefully that helps.
    GAYMANINNEED Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Oct 28, 2010, 06:51 PM
    Comment on CravenMorhead's post
    Thank you that is really good advice... Glad I posted this... I already knew to do those things but hearing from someone else helps... Ya know?
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert

    Oct 29, 2010, 04:13 AM

    To add to Craven and Clough's great advice, don't sit at home or close yourself off from friends and family.

    Do things that help you feel good about yourself. Some people like going to the gym, some like taking up a hobby that keeps mind and body occupied, some find volunteering helpful. It can also be a way to meet people who don't know the ex.

    Remember to be patient with yourself. You're going to have weak moments and low points. Giving yourself ways to work through those times will help make them less frequent. Dwelling on them will make them worse.
    jupiter6921's Avatar
    jupiter6921 Posts: 15, Reputation: 4
    New Member

    Dec 2, 2010, 05:35 PM
    I know from my own personal experience that CravenMorhead is completely right.

    Cut him out of your life. Believe me. It's the only way. It gets easier the longer you're apart. I still talk to my guy, but only once a year because I do care about him and want to know how his life is going.

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