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JENNYKEVY · Oct 14, 2010, 01:11 PM

Me and ex have been divorced about 2 yrs and I see the kids every other weekend. I want to get 50 50 custody, and she will not go for it because she will lose money from her social security she receives if she only has them half the time. I am at witts end because she has all the rights. All I get is everyother weekend and same for holidays. I want to be more involved in there lives because it is a killer going that long with not seeing them. Would a judge grant me 50 50 every weekend and Every other Thursday? I have never missed my child support and I go over and above with that and never missed my weekends that I have them. Both kids would love it if we had 50 50. Why would a judge say no to a father that wants to be in there life, and be there for all there functions. It benefits kids, but takes aways from ex 's ssecurity.

justcurious55 · Oct 14, 2010, 01:17 PM

So, what's stopping you from petitioning the court for the custody you want? It's not just up to your ex.

cdad · Oct 14, 2010, 01:58 PM

How do you believe this is tied to a SSI benefit?

JENNYKEVY · Oct 14, 2010, 03:41 PM

I just filed a report on Tuesday with DSS. My 10 yr old claimed she got smack to the head and her ear yanked on by loop earring. Case manager spoke with both and there was no findings. I also mentioned to her about Parental alienation {daughter heard ex tell me over phone to jump off bridge and die}, calls, tells kids I'm a loser, don't pay child support so they can't get something, etc. I have never not paid child support, would always take care of my kids. I know I can fill out paper work and file with court to what I want but I can't afford a lawyer. It stinks because I would have done it already but don't think I could stand up in front of judge to explain what I want. I get very emotional when I talk about kids and I don't know the laws obviously like a lawyer. I agree about ex isn't in charge, I am so sick over her being in control, and plays kids like a game..

JENNYKEVY · Oct 14, 2010, 03:44 PM

Ex told me about ssecurity and would lose a lot of money.

JENNYKEVY · Oct 14, 2010, 03:47 PM

I wish ex would just sit at table and do the paperwork for adjustment and go 50 50 but she wants the control only way is through court and lawyer,

Fr_Chuck · Oct 14, 2010, 03:55 PM

So what ? Who cares what ex thinks, if you worried about what she wanted most likely you would be with her. So you hire an attorney, file for joint custody and go for it.

JENNYKEVY · Oct 14, 2010, 04:16 PM

I could careless what she thinks, I just can't afford a lawyer. Do you know if it would be highly unlikely to win the case if I represent myself? Just file what I want with the courts? Is it a tough sell to judge?

ScottGem · Oct 14, 2010, 05:20 PM

Family Courts are less formal so you can represent yourself. There are other resources that you may be able to find to help you prepare for court.

If you are really serious about wanting to have more time with your children you will do anything necessary.

JENNYKEVY · Oct 16, 2010, 03:54 PM

I see my kids every other weekend, and I want to file a petition for a change to Joint legal custody. Right now It seems I have no rights. Ex never tells me what is going on in kids life,extra cc activities, etc. I am just here for child support and every other weekend. It kills me because and she knows she has control. When I file for petition I'm doing without a lawyer because of cost. I stated I want kids every Thursday after school and return them Sunday night. Would that be 50 50, joint custody, etc. I just want equal rights and be in my kids life as much as possible. I'm turning in petition on Monday can anyone give me advice of what I should state on form {why should court change the current orders?} I put ---{ I would like to be more involved in my children's everyday life. My daughter has expressed to ex and myself she would like to see me more often. I am asking the courts to grant this modification not only for myself but my two daughters. I feel this will benefit my children greatly}. I
Is their something else I could add to it, do you think I have a good shot at gettting Joint legal custody? Please help me. Thank You

Fr_Chuck · Oct 16, 2010, 04:40 PM

Posts combined, please keep similar subject matter on same thread.

Of course you are wanting joint physical and legal, correct, they are not the same thing

JENNYKEVY · Oct 16, 2010, 05:02 PM

I want them Thursday to Sunday night, compared to now I get every other weekend. Are judges against giving something like this out, it benefits kids with having both parents in the picture more often. I am sorry just clueless with this.

ScottGem · Oct 16, 2010, 08:44 PM

First, may I call your attention to the guidelines for using the comments feature found here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedba...ure-24951.html

Please use the Answer options for follow-up.

Judges are charged with making decisions that are in the best interests of the child. If they feel that a more even split of visitation is in those interests then they will order it.

cdad · Oct 17, 2010, 04:19 AM

Personally I don't think its going to happen. I believe you should look at a different avenue. The problem being is that in your outline of time you would get every weekend. Its not fair to the other parent. You might want to think about a block adjustment in the summer to make up the time and keep the current plan of every other weekend with the exception of extended time as you stated. If the child has 3 months in summer then maybe the first 2 can belong to you. That way the plan is fair to everyone. In my opinion.
Also don't forget to outline holidays etc. And if you don't have legal custody and your wanting it then also include ways for resolution. Like mediation or binding arbitration as ways to settle disagreements.