[kkbmd1989]

I am 21years old now, when I was 14 I woke up in the middle of the night to someone touching me I can remember every single detail. I was wearing a night gown on a mattress on the floor because it was my little brothers turn in the bigger bed. The TV was on but it was just white noise our door was open and the blankets were flipped off me my night gown was pulled up and his hand was on my butt it went on for what seemed like forever, But I was so scared that I just laid there and let it happen. Finally I heard what sounded like a zipper to pants being pulled up and he covered me again and walked away. We lived in a small apartment at the time it we me my little brother my older sister my mom and her husband. I was very close to my step dad before this happened. I had been molested and abused by my real father and my step mother, we were living in a small apartment until we could find something different because my mom was protecting me from my dad and his wife. My step dad was helping my mom with the whole situation. I was really young when my real dad and his wife did what they did and I don't really remember it, but I can remember everything from the night my step dad did this to me I re live it all the time and its like its happening all over again. I keep wishing that I had screamed or done something to stop him but I didn't do anything I just laid there and I hate that I let this happen to me. I finally got the courage up to tell my mom when I was 16 I told her and my sister and they didn't really believe me they think it was just a dream I had. So I didn't say anything about it again I just lived with it I lived with getting yelled at for treating him bad and fighting with him. And last year we found out that he cheated on my mom and I was happy because I thought it meant he would leave and I wouldn't have to see him again or think about it anymore. But my mom stayed with him because she is disabled and rely s on him financially we all do. So the fights have been getting worse and I can barely stand in the same room with him with out wanting to throw up or scream. So I brought it up again to my mom and my sister and told them that it wasn't a dream and it really happened. And they didn't say they didn't believe me but we all kind of let it go. But now they get mad at me for treating him bad more and more and I just don't get why they don't understand why I can't be nice to him. And now I feel like they all hate me and think I'm the bad guy because I hate him so much. I just don't know what to do or how to feel anymore how can I make this better for myself?

[joypulv]

It's very sad that your mother feels that she has to stay with him and even defend him and not believe you, just because she needs his financial security. You can go to the police, your local Social Services, Child Protective Services, or even start with a school guidance counselor. Since it's been 2 years though, be prepared for people denying it and saying that you are just an angry teenager. They like to have some evidence but it depends. Also be prepared for anger from your mother, and a disrupted life (having to move, etc) if he is kept away from you. I know you would rather convince your mother and sister... try to find a calm moment alone with your mom and say that you just want to get the entire story off your chest, ask her if she ever wishes she could leave, if deep down she does believe you, etc, but again stay CALM. When he's around, go to a different room! Work on ways that you can move out just as soon as you finish school, maybe some roommate friends in a cheap apartment and a job. Stay after school, get a part time Christmas job, go to the library, stay away from home as much as you can. Plan! Good luck.

[joypulv]

What I mean is that to start 'forgetting' it helps to find someone who believes you.

[Fr_Chuck]

First perhaps get professional help, I am not saying it did not happen, but again, what if mom is right and it was not real, things can come to us and feel so real at times.

Since you did not do something right then, and have a physcial to prove it happened, it can be debated, Victims sometimes have this happen to them.

So my advice, get professional help, and find the turth, then start getting over it.