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confusedforlife · Oct 10, 2010, 09:58 PM

We spend a lot of time together almost all of our free time together I am not his type as far as a girl which is fine because we are such good friends I am overweight but I noticed he treats other female friends differently I went to play hit him for scaring me and he hit blocked the light hit he said he will keep deffending himself to teach me a lesson not to touch him. I am so hurt maybe he is disgusted by me and I don't know it ? I don't want anything more than to be treated equal to his other female friends I am afraid if I don't find a way to not be hurt by this and get past it our amazing friendship will be over . We are not children either we are both 24 . I know where he keeps the key to his place and we have been out of town on weekends together at least 10 times to his mothers house separate rooms of course

Alty · Oct 10, 2010, 10:02 PM

My reaction to someone trying to hit me would be to block them, no matter how I feel about them.

When you touch him, how do you touch him? Is it a hug, a pat on the back, a touch of the hand, or are you swatting him, punching him, otherwise hitting him?

If you're always play hitting, I can understand why he'd say what he did. It sounds like he's tired of defending himself, because play hitting isn't really fun for the person receiving it.

answerme_tender · Oct 11, 2010, 07:55 AM

I agree, why would you need to be even play hitting at 24yro. Your not in high school anymore. Obviously you have a good friendship. You apparently want more then friendship, but feel that your not his type are willing to settle for friendship. If you can't live with just friendship anymore then you need to stop spending so much time around him. Why put yourself through that.
You say that your not his type because your overweight. You may very well be his type on what really counts, maybe you need to loose a little weight, we have all had to at one time or another. But bottom line is no one is going to loose it for you, make the choice to do it yourself and for yourself, but don't set around using that for your excuse as to why you don't take a chance with this guy.

Cat1864 · Oct 11, 2010, 08:20 AM

How long have you known him?

Did he mean to scare you or was it an accident? (If it was on purpose, then what reaction did he expect?) It sounds like both of you may have over-reacted to minor incident. You by hitting out at him, even in jest or play, and him by taking your reaction the wrong way. However, if that is the first time you have playfully struck out at him, it may have triggered a subconscious response. He may have reacted instinctively because of being hit or threatened in the past.

If this is really concerning to you, talk to him. Discuss what happened. Apologize if you think it is necessary.

How does he treat his other female friends? If he spends most of his free time with you, what do you think they are getting that you aren't?

If you are friends, then treat him like one and find out what is going on instead of letting your imagination feed your insecurities.

gigoj2 · Dec 14, 2010, 02:01 PM

I have a hard time touching people if I am not really really close to them. There are people who like me and Ilike them. Smtms they want to hug me but I still don't feel that comfortable. Maybe it's the same for him. Just don't worry. I don't think it's serious. Does he hug you when you need a hug? You might want to test that.