[Ziggurat2009]

Hey everyone,

I graduated from college in May and came home in June. I had casually talked to this girl on AIM for a few months on and off. After getting home from college, she asked me out, just to go have fun at the beach. Since she was involved with someone before when we talked on AIM and she was giving me indicators of interest (online and via phonecalls) I was confused why she was giving me this attention. So after our date, we saw each other a few more times. I had fun and liked her personality and she's beautiful too. She said she's been single for a bit and that guy she saw before was cheating on her and used her. I told her I hope she doesn't still have feelings for him and she reassured me she had a clear head and was past it.

We became official and dated for three months up until a week ago. During the beginning, she was always texting and I eventually asked her who she was texting all the time, she said her mom and he cousin. I asked again later on and she told me her ex was harassing her. As I discovered, this is a totally new guy I didn't even know about that came between the guy that cheated on her and me. So, I learned that she has dated a lot of guys in a short amount of time. Needless to say, it made it hard for me to trust her. It all seemed so... sneaky. Eventually, things died down with this guy, he stopped bothering her. Things with us were good.

A few weeks ago, I went to work for the day and she told me she'd be hanging out with an old friend. She and I had built some great times together and had some talks that grew us closer. I didn't think anything of it. I trusted her. I got home from work and saw that on Facebook, this kid was basically in love with her. Commenting and complimenting everything on her profile. She told me she didn't realize he liked her and she un-friended him and stopped talking to him. Okay, so I let that blow over. It didn't seem like there was anything to worry about. Especially since she was always telling me how lucky she is to have me.

A week ago Sunday, same thing. She was going to hang out with a friend she hasn't seen in five years. They were going to go running. I went to work and came home. Didn't hear from her all day. Again, I saw that this guy was basically in love with her too. Commenting on everything and telling her she's beautiful on Facebook. I got upset. Why do these guy always pop up in her life trying to woo her and win her over. She seems to unknowinly lead them on. The next day I got on Facebook and I was blocked... I could'nt see her profile. Thinking the worst... I looked at his page and it says he's in a relationship with my girlfriend. I was in shock. I wrote him a letter. I wasn't rude but told him what the truth is and what he's done, and what she's done. Then I texted her and told her I need to speak with her right away. She texted saying "I like him, okay?" I called her. She was at work and wouldn't say much. She had these excuses that she's never mentioned before. "It was always difficult with you. He and I just click." I told her, why didn't you just tell him you are involved with me and you aren't interested? She said, "but I am interested."

So, I don't know how to handle this. She saw this guy once. One day. And she leaves me overnight for him? After seeing him once? I can't make sense of this. Can any one explain this behavior to me. I don't know how I should or should have reacted. She told me she loved me and was so lucky... all that stuff.

She once told me she's never had a guy not cheat on her and was so happy I had values. So, she cheated on me instead? I'm just lost, not sure how to feel. I miss her. I wish I had her still. I'm hurt by her actions. I was looking forward to the future. I'm very used to dealing with breakups, I've had practice. If I have to just ignore her and move on I can do that but I feel like she can't do this to people. She's just screwing her own future up and ensuring she never has a healthy relationship. I feel like I should do something.

By the way, she's 20 years old.

We met once after that, she needed her things. I was always polite (enough), never insulted her, never yelled at her. And I texted her twice after that. She stopped answering my texts. I know I shouldn't stick around and bother her by calling and texting so that's all I did. Two texts, no response. I haven't tried anything in three days now. I think she has some kind of problem... how can any person rationalize this kind of behavior?

[beachloverjohn]

Welcome to the real world.. A world that includes insincere, phony, dishonest, untrustworthy, and two-timing individuals. And mostly full of people that don't always return the love that is given to them. Would you want to be in a relationship with a woman that falls under any of those categories, even if just the last one I mentioned? Unless you really hate yourself and you like to be punished, I think not. But the fact is, you are not her boyfriend, her father, her friend, her anything, so stop worrying so much about her "future" or her "behavior". The fact is not only is what she does none of your business, but you are bothering her, and that is MORE of a concern then what she is doing. Stop calling, texting, writing, and fantasizing about her now. She doesn't want you, so move on with your life and leave her alone for your own good.

[talaniman]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...ml#post2399765

Same girl??

Look guy you have a history of jumping in too fast without looking, and have a hard time getting back out.

Too much, too soon, crash and burn.

Talaniman Rule- never be in a hurry to give your heart to a stranger. Wait until they have proven they deserve it, and know what to do with it.

Talaniman Rule- Doesn't matter how intense the feelings, or how much fun you have, never give your heart to someone you don't know well, and that’s only after the lust has worn off for you both.

Talaniman Rule- Give yourself 6 months of dating and getting to know someone, before you decide together to be DATING EXCLUSIVELY, and having fun getting to know each other.

Bow out gracefully as your right, she has an honesty problem.

[Midggy]

Ok Ok it's going to be okay. First of all you seem like the kind of guy that really wants a relationship and the women that your talking about didn't want one when you guys started and doesn't want one now. That's a character flew that went unnoticed because you went in to fast without knowing what kind of girl you were dealing with. Love is blind that's why you have to pay attention in the beginning. You can't get so involved were you can't see what's right in front of you. Furthermore let her miss something good cause right now your missing something bad very bad for your health in a relationship. F... her! She's loose! Better you know now than later

[Ziggurat2009]

Thanks for your response. She asked me out. I wanted her to have time to be done with these other guys. She seems used to jumping into things too quickly. Look what she did, 24 hours to go from one "serious" relationship to another.