[Roxy1978]

Hi have been married for 6 and a half years now, we had a perfect marriage I would say until we had our son, my life changed, but I started to notice that my husband didn't want to change his life, he stills goes out 2 to 3 times a week. It started to become a problem when my son didn't want to spend time with his dad and would cry if I left the room even just to go to the bathroom. Even got to the point when I became very sick and ask my husband not to go to a work function because I didn't think I could look after my son until 12pm at night when I felt so unwell and my husband said no he wouldn't stay at home and went out. That's when I saw a different side to my husband. Then I went to my husband football end of year party and noticed a girl acting too friendly to my husband and notice she was the same girl who would write a lot on my husbands Facebook page. Anyway I got very upset with this cause he didn't put this girl in her place and he goes to the football club twice a week and she is always there. To cut a long story short we worked on this issue, but it has been one year since the football club party I told my husband I don't want to go this year because it was one of my worst nights I have ever had, I was kind of hoping that he would know how much it upset me and he wouldn't want to go either. Anyway he told me last week that he still wants to go to the party eventho it means he will go on his own. What I want to know I am overeacting and getting upset for nothing and I should just let it go or should I make an issue about it?

[Devorameira]

Your husband sounds like a jerk. I can't imagine him refusing to take care of his son when you were sick... that's just so wrong.

Sounds as if he's going to do just whatever he wants, regardless of what you think, so I don't think it'll do you any good to complain.

Do you think that there's anything between the woman at the party and him? Has he ever cheated on you in the past?

[answerme_tender]

Hello anyone home here!! Come on your own instincts are yelling at you to wake up and notice someone other woman has either already mess around or is attempting to mess around with your husband. There is no way in heck that I would calmly sit back and let him go alone. That would be telling bambi to go for a nice little walk alone in the forest during deer season!! Go with your husband stand proud next to his side, this party is only once a year. Show your husband that you also understand and live by the concept of "give and take". Good luck

[talaniman]

I think you are over reacting, and expecting a lot, but as you said, your perfect life of 6 years changed when you had your child, Hmmmmmm!!

Get a sitter, and party with your husband, because if he didn't want you there with him, he wouldn't ask you to go!! I think your issues are more personal, and not really about your husband.

[Kitkat22]

First of all you need to give your
Husband the benefit of the doubt until you know for sure he is messing around. I don't believe he is.

Next. Tal said go with him and I agree. Dress up and get your hair
Done. Get your nails done, have a pedicure. Wear something (not sleazy) that will knock his eyes out.
Some sexy perfume some three inch heels . Leave the baby with someone you trust. Book a hotel room for the night and go wild.
Guarantee you he'll have the time of his life and so will you.

[Jake2008]

If he continues to go out 2 to 3 times a week, dressing up and having a good time isn't likely to change his behaviour. The next time you need him to help care for his son, and you are ill, having a nice night out, still won't mean he'll be there for you when you need him.

I don't see how it is fair that he arbitrarily decides when he's going to be a father, and a husband. His own child is a stranger to him, and the child is not comfortable with him. That sure indicates that he's not spending enough time with him.

Him being so distant from his family, and making the choice to go out as often as he does, and disregard your needs, and his son's needs, would worry me too.

He should be making arrangements to take YOU out, not the other way around.

Before your imagination gets the better of you, why not make it a point once a week, if he's willing, to have a sitter in, and the two of you go somewhere, maybe the coffee shop, or a park. Somewhere quiet where you can communicate, and listen to eachother, and talk about how your week has gone.

If you don't work on more than bandaide solutions here, the distance between you will grow, and resentment grows to a point where there is no fixing anything.

Until the two of you connect, and stay connected, the smallest things will become bigger issues, and if you cannot communicate now, it will be that much harder down the road.