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    Chubach's Avatar
    Chubach Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 2, 2010, 06:07 PM
    Should we break up?
    All right so here's the backstory:

    I'm currently with my girlfriend of a little over two months, however it does seem a lot longer than that. We've been very good friends for two and a half years now and we finally started dating in June. Anyway, I had always liked her since we were friends but she was dating a guy so I basically waited my turn until they finally broke up. Thing is, she broke up with him because she wanted to be single going into college. Then "I" happened. Our story has been called kind of "movie-like" by many people and we've had an amazing time so far.

    We're pretty much best friends and it kind of feels like I've known her all my life. We mesh well. We go to the same college (not purposely) and see each other daily. Yesterday, however, I found out her mom doesn't want us to be dating (her mother actually had the nerve to tell my mom this... kind of pissed me off) because she wants us to meet new people and "be free". I get that, I really do. That's why I'm here actually. We talked yesterday about this subject just to see where we were. I told her I didn't know if I could let her go right now because I'm very happy with her and love her to death. I think a part of her wants to be single and get that experience but I also know she loves me dearly and is happy with me too.

    That's the problem. We're both happy, love each other, but are left wondering if we need to see what's out there first. The longer I stay with her the harder it will be to let her go though. We're both still getting adjusted to college life and trying to meet friends and whatnot.

    So I guess I just need advice on whether we need to explore other opportunities or not, however I don't want to break up with her for the wrong reason.

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Sep 2, 2010, 07:13 PM

    If you both agree to stay together, why NOT? I would worry that you may get to carried away by the thrill, being so early into this, but have fun, until you don't.

    Waiting your turn to date a girl is not exactly my idea of true romance though. It sounds like a lion waiting in the bushes for their next meal or something. Maybe that's why you were friends to begin with, I am not sure.
    Shadowburn's Avatar
    Shadowburn Posts: 249, Reputation: 179
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    #3

    Sep 2, 2010, 07:31 PM

    If you both love each other and happy together, I really don't see the point in breaking up. People are looking for mutual love and happiness all their lives, just read so many stories here about wanting their exes back after months and years of being apart - because it's not easy to find a special person who you click with and who feels the same about you.

    I see your/her mother's point of not being able to explore what's out there, but it's not like you're rushing into anything or plan to move in together etc. Enjoy what you have without taking it to the next level until and if you are ready.
    mystific's Avatar
    mystific Posts: 340, Reputation: 308
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    #4

    Sep 2, 2010, 07:36 PM

    Must be because its Friday, lots of quotations are springing to mind...

    "if you love something set it free, if it comes back its yours, if it dosent, it was never meant to be"
    Shadowburn's Avatar
    Shadowburn Posts: 249, Reputation: 179
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    #5

    Sep 2, 2010, 07:41 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by mystific View Post
    Must be because its Friday, lots of quotations are springing to mind ...

    "if you love something set it free, if it comes back its yours, if it dosent, it was never meant to be"
    Don't know, don't know... some people just don't know how to stay away... that's why we have NC in place, lol:)
    mystific's Avatar
    mystific Posts: 340, Reputation: 308
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    #6

    Sep 2, 2010, 07:47 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Shadowburn View Post
    Don't know, don't know...some people just don't know how to stay away...that's why we have NC in place, lol:)
    OK...

    "if you love something set it free (with NC), if it comes back its yours (after successfully NC'ing), if it doesn't, it was never meant to be (with continued NC)"

    :cool:
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #7

    Sep 2, 2010, 08:27 PM

    Ok , I'll join in :cool:

    "If it ain't broke , don't try to fix it"
    Devorameira's Avatar
    Devorameira Posts: 2,461, Reputation: 981
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    #8

    Sep 3, 2010, 04:59 AM

    Pretty much everyone is right. Don't break up with her just because of what her mom thinks.

    Sit down and have a really serious talk to be sure she doesn't want her freedom and think about whether you'll resent not being free to date other girls.

    If you two are seriously happy together, then stay together.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #9

    Sep 3, 2010, 06:14 PM

    I think a part of her wants to be single and get that experience but I also know she loves me dearly and is happy with me too.
    This sticks out with me.
    There is no reason you two cannot continue your friendship while you're going to college or for even a year or so. You'll get back together if it is meant to be.
    Sometimes being in love today and happy today does not outweigh what you know may need to happen.
    You two know each other well enough to talk about what is best for the both of you in the long run. Talk about and decide. But at least have the talk.
    I wish you both well
    kaka67's Avatar
    kaka67 Posts: 261, Reputation: 200
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    #10

    Sep 3, 2010, 06:48 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Chubach View Post
    Thing is, she broke up with him because she wanted to be single going into college. Then "I" happened.
    Feel sorry for the guy she dumped.

    She broke up to be single and now she's with you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chubach View Post
    We talked yesterday about this subject just to see where we were. ... I think a part of her wants to be single and get that experience
    Well then let her be single. 'Single' seems to be the common theme for her.
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