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    ASHGO's Avatar
    ASHGO Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 29, 2010, 04:23 PM
    He can't reach an orgasm unless he fantasizes about men
    My huband and I will be in the middle of having sex when I reach my climaxing point. Eventually, he wants me to get off him and lay beside him so he can finish manually. While he is doing this he wants me to talk by describing a sexual act involving another man. Most of the time it has to do with him having sex with a man or giving/receiving oral pleasure. I get upset all of the time but I let it go. Only it seems to be happening more and more. We have talked about it but I feel like it gets us nowhere. I'm very concerned about this because we share a beautiful daughter. What might or might not happen?
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #2

    Aug 29, 2010, 04:29 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ASHGO View Post
    What might or might not happen?
    Hello A:

    Nothing different that what's BEEN happening. Yes, your sex life is a bit strange, but whose isn't? As long as he ISN'T cheating, is bringing home the bacon, and is a good father to his children, things ain't so bad.

    excon
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Aug 29, 2010, 04:37 PM

    Some men may want to wear ladies underwear, some like to urine one them, others even stranger.
    So he has a desire for men, perhaps he is bi sexual, but agreed, it is your sex life, and if he is not cheating and you both can deal with it, so what
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #4

    Aug 30, 2010, 07:26 AM

    When you talk with him about it, what does he say? How is the rest of your relationship?

    Only it seems to be happening more and more.
    Could you please define 'more and more'? Is it just the frequency of his wanting to finish manually or is he needing more in-depth details than he did when this started?

    Are you getting what you need from sex? Do you feel like a partner or a masturbatory aid?

    My concern is that he is in essence forcing his fantasies on his wife if he is having her make things up to get him off. If she isn't comfortable with that then there is a problem.

    The thought comes to mind that she could refuse, but then she would be accused of not taking care of his needs after getting her own met. However, it sounds like her emotional needs are taking a beating. This could very quickly go from enjoying sexual intimacy to dreading climaxing because after she does (if she does) he wants her to supply him with a fantasy that isn't hers. There is also the fear of when are her words and concepts not enough for him.
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