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cherry_t · Sep 30, 2009, 06:57 AM

I am an 18 year old girl and my boyfriend and I have been sexually active together for about two years. We were both each others firsts. I enjoy our time together Very much and we are very communicative and comfortable together, but I have never had an orgasm. I'v heard many times that if you struggle to have an orgasm, you should practice with masturbation. But I never used to masturbate because it did not give me and pleasure, now the only time I can masturbate is if I am with my boyfriend or speaking with him on the phone.
Please help, its getting kind of frustrating. Sometimes after a while it gets too sensitive and we can't carry on, but I don't know how to orgasm, even after more than an hour

Please, any advice!!
We are getting desperate

howardtazman · Sep 30, 2009, 08:17 AM

Need to put your click in your finger and jack yourself off, not inside you but just your click, have you ever been eating out let him suck on your click

adam_89 · Sep 30, 2009, 08:22 AM

Originally Posted by howardtazman

need to put your click in your finger and jack yourself off, not inside you but just your click, have you ever been eatin out let him suck on your click

On the click?

adam_89 · Sep 30, 2009, 08:23 AM

Have you been to a gyno or had a professionals opinion?

KISS · Sep 30, 2009, 08:28 AM

It seems to be a very frustrating problem for females. May time the female can orgasm via masturbation, but not penetration. Upbringing sometmes factors into the equation as well.

It also seems that oral sex, when performed correctly tends to produce orgasm in some women.

It's probably really tough to create a "How can I orgasm manual"", but many times a partner can ignore the (probably click in one of the posts above) for a long time.
The clitorous generally doesn't like stimulation unless your aroused.

This is a frustrating problem for many women.

cherry_t · Sep 30, 2009, 09:16 AM

He has tried oral on me, and it is enjoyable but not fantastic, doesn't lead to orgasm

cherry_t · Sep 30, 2009, 09:17 AM

I haven't been to a gyne, been too scared that my parents would find out

KISS · Sep 30, 2009, 09:28 AM

Well, a fear, for instance, of being walked in on may be enough to remove the ability.

excon · Sep 30, 2009, 10:03 AM

Originally Posted by cherry_t

I am an 18 year old girl and my boyfriend and i have been sexually active together for about two years. Please, any advice!!! We are getting desperate

Hello cherry:

I have some good news and some bad news... Here's the bad news: I don't know who designed women, but he put some of your parts in STRANGE places... That's because when your boyfriend is doing his thing, your click is just hanging out there all by itself. And, it's your click (what the hell), that MOSTLY gives you an orgasm...

So, you're going to have to learn how... And, you will, and there's nothing wrong, and you're just getting started... So, RELAX... That's the FIRST thing you need to do..

Here's the good news.. WHEN you finally DO get off, a woman's orgasm is MUCH more intense than a mans is, it lasts a LOT longer, and you can have SEVERAL of 'em when your boyfriend is only going to get ONE.

excon

Synnen · Sep 30, 2009, 10:04 AM

If you're terrified that your parents would find out about going to the gynecologist, how do you think you're going to feel when you have to tell them you're pregnant.

Go to the gynecologist.

Cat1864 · Sep 30, 2009, 10:13 AM

What you are going through is very common. Some women find it difficult to masturbate and/or achieve an orgasm. Part of it is finding what really turns you on (It sounds like that is your boyfriend) and thinking about that.

For most women, arousal and orgasm are affected by mind and emotion. If your mind doesn't fully get into it, then your body won't be either. It may enjoy the sensations, but it isn't getting the full stimulation it needs. Try relaxing a little and not focusing on the result but the journey.

That sensitivity that you mention is a part of the build up and it can be irritating especially if it is the only area that is being stimulated. Instead of stopping try changing positions so that the overly stimulated area isn't affected as much.

Fear is another factor, not just of getting caught, but of the unknown. Until you experience one, orgasm is just a word that has no real physical context for you. It can be scary until you understand what is happening and allow your body to let go.