[thewhitetieaffair]

So I met this guy when I was going out with my ex. I've known him for about two months now. We were strictly JUST friends the first month. We hung out, played video games, I occasionally drank with him and his friends, and we just talked and had good conversation. When my ex and I broke up I hung out with this guy more. We probably hung out 3 times in the span of 5 days after my ex and I broke up. We did start to get physical with each other (kissing, cuddling, making out). We never had sex. I made it clear to him I don't have sex unless I'm in a relationship, and he respected that. I had stayed at his house a few nights as well. We were lying in bed one night and we were talking about what we were hoping to get out of us spending time together. He told me that he didn't know what he wanted and didn't think he was ready for a relationship so soon, and that he was also scared of rejection. He was recently divorced (it finalized beginning of July, though he had been separated from her since about January). I was disappointed, though I wasn't mad at him. The next morning we both left for work, and we texted a few times throughout the day, but nothing like we normally would. After that day, I never heard from him again. So I deleted him from my phone. I figured he was one of those guys that was running away scared and felt like he got backed into a corner.

Two weeks go by and I get a text from him saying, "Hey.. still mad at me?" I had him deleted him from my phone but recognized the number. I replied and said, "No, why would I be?" (I was never mad -- disappointed, yes. But I still wanted to try and be just friends without a physical relationship). He goes, "cause I was stupid and didn't know what I wanted". So I told him it was probably rather presumptuous of me to assume he would had been ready for a relationship so soon. So we began talking as friends again. He mentioned he would be at his parents house that night, and asked if I wanted to hang out afterwards. I said sure. Later he texted me and said he wasn't going to his parents. So I figured he wasn't going to come here at all since it's a 30 minute drive. He said that he still wanted to see me. We hung out for about 3 hours. Played a little bit of video games and watched a movie. I accepted the fact he wasn't ready for a relationship and just acted as if we were friends.

The next night he texts me and asks if I had plans that night. I told him no. He asked if I wanted to come over. I asked him what we would do. He goes, "I'd like to talk.." Right then and there I knew what he was referring to, and I also had a feeling where it was going. I was shocked by that statement, though. But I knew he wouldn't ask me to drive 30 minutes just to shoot the ****. So while at his house he said he wanted to play a game where we ask questions and we have to respond with 100% honesty. So I asked him why he waited two weeks to talk to me again. He told me that he thought I was mad at him and he also felt bad about how he treated me, and he felt like he was leading me on, and since I didn't text him he thought I was mad, but I thought he didn't want to talk to me since he never texted me. He didn't realize that we both wanted different things. I asked what he was hoping or thinking would happen. He said he was hoping I would come over with an open mind so he could explain everything. He explained that he had met a girl from the dating site and had talked to a couple other girls on there as well and they were boring. He said it made him realize after talking to other girls that we actually had something going on and it took that to make him realize that, and he didn't understand until recently why he was looking for other girls on there when he had an awesome girl already who was really fun and awesome. He also told me subconsciously he was comparing these other girls to me. He wasn't comparing little things, but just made a mental note that these girls weren't as awesome as me or didn't have a fun personality. He said he feels like he can be himself around me and not have to pretend he's someone else, and I can do the same thing. He told me that if I still wanted to, he would like to work on building a relationship with me. I understand that he's not going to jump into a relationship based on his history (his ex-wife met another guy she worked with and left him for the other guy).

My question is, can a guy really know what he wants after a few weeks being apart from a person? Can talking to other girls really change their mind that drastically? Times like these I kind of believe the line "If you care about something, let it go, and if it comes back, it was meant to be". I mean, I never thought I'd hear from this guy again. Since we've started talking again, we've hung out 3 times in the span of 5 days. He's came over to my house twice and I've been over there once. I've had guys enter and leave my life pretty quickly and then pop back up, but none of them have ever been like, "yeah, I want a relationship with you now" or "I'm ready for a girlfriend now". I also am prepared to take things slow with him as well, since I do know his history. Thoughts?

[Fr_Chuck]

A person can "think" they know after a couple week, and merely being ready for a girlfriend, cam mean they are tired of being alone last couple weekends.

A relationship grows over months, there is no way to tell anything in two weeks

[thewhitetieaffair]

Well I joked that he contacted me cause he was getting lonely and he said he's really not that lonely. Noted. :)

[Kitkat22]

He's barely divorced. He doesn't know what he wants. Don't be a rebound romance. They rarely work.

[talaniman]

Seeing as how you just went through a break up yourself,
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...er-490276.html,

I doubt that either of ready for anything except leaning on each other for a while, until you both have gotten over your exes, and are ready to stand alone. I doubt this happens at the same time, and see one or the other being hurt again.

To answer your question though, I don't think he is ready for a relationship. I hope you stay friends, and help each other, but you both are strangers on the rebound.