[tembro]

My boyfriend and I dated through college and then spent three years in a long distance relationship while we did grad school/med school. He has one more year to go. We agreed that I would move out to his city but decided to live near each other to transition back into a day to day relationship. He was so excited and happy with the move but in less than two months he has become very sad and withdrawn. I am devastated. He says he loves me but having me here is not what he expected. What does that mean? He has a grad student life style of hard work during the day and beer and video games every night. Things haven't been easy for me either - I am having trouble finding a job. My guess is he is not ready for a serious day to day girlfriend. We are very sad but talking. CAn we start from scratch and go slow or am I kidding myself that this is not going to work?

[redhed35]

Start dating each other again.

Get used to having someone back in your life on a full term bases.

Slowly spend more time together.

I would not rush into moving into together just yet,it can be a hard transition to make,your both used to doing your own thing and spending time on your own.

Keep talking about how your both getting on,discuss expectations and check in about how each of you are feelings about the relationship.

Bring the fun back into the relationship.

[talaniman]

You both are use to not being with each other, and doing your own things, so back off, and go slower with each other, and be patient as adjustments, and transitions take time to work through.

Sometimes we get use to the way things have been, and have a hard time with the way it is, especially after such a long time spent apart physically.

Take small steps, and keep talking. No hurry now is it??

[positiveparent]

Just take it easy find other things to occupy yourself with and don't lean too heavily on him.

You don't really know each other that much, long distance relationships don't give the people in them much by way of insight into how that person really is on a more full time, in each others company basis, and your b/f may be feeling crowded or hemmed in.

Ease off and do other thngs.

Take it from there and see how it goes, the relationship may weather the storms, but don't expect too much, that way anything else is a bonus...