[Deedee.8]

I was raised in a good home with no abuse, and plenty of friends. But it's only as an adult that I realize that my need for intimacy has never been filled. My parents have never shown me love in a real way (only sarcastically), and talking about feelings is not something we do in my family. It doesn't sound like such a big deal, but it has ultimately resulted in depression, anxiety, an eating disorder, and me wanting to hurt myself in order to get their attention. I have made many mistakes of my own, but I still feel angry and sad because of them. I just feel like a piece of me is missing, and I don't know what to do now. The obvious answer would be to not hurt myself, and talk to them. But I've never told them my feelings, and I don't want to hurt their feelings, or make them feel like they've been bad parents. Also, what can I do when I feel like hurting myself so badly? Suggestions would be much appreciated. :)

[Jake2008]

Deedee,

If you were sitting at the kitchen table with your parents right now, and had their undivided attention, what would you say to them.

Let's assume that they really want to know how you feel, and what you need to say, and they sincerely want to understand.

I'm listening.

[martinizing2]

If you feel like hurting yourself this is something that needs attention now.
Is there some sort of professional like a counselor or doctor you can talk to? I am strongly suggesting you do this soon.

I am sure there are local Hot Lines you can call .It is easier for some to talk on the phone rather than face to face.
(edit)
This will undoubtedly involve the feelings you are questioning about your parents. You can begin to deal it now.

Vocalizing to yourself what you would say to your parents may help gain some perspective on your feelings. Try what Jake suggests.

[Deedee.8]

Well, see, the problem for me is that I've never confronted my parents before by choice. I have such a fear of them reacting in a negative way, or that I'll just be another thing for them to have to deal with. Worse, I fear that nothing will ever change between me and them, even if I have this conversation. I mean, it's not like I can just walk up to them and tell them to show me they love me, because then it's not really love.

I guess maybe I could say something about how I've been dealing with a lot of stuff over the past years, and I need the people I love to help me get through it. That I need them to be there for me if they want me to live a happy and full life. I think all I can really hope for is that by trusting and loving them, and opening up, that they will do the same back, and then maybe we can have a more intimate relationship.

[martinizing2]

Until it actually happens you will not know the result. It takes courage to do and I admire that have decided to do it.

I wish you well. And keep us posted on your progress