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    Tiffpie31's Avatar
    Tiffpie31 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jun 2, 2010, 08:43 AM
    Never met his children
    I met my boyfriend (or lack there of) online through a social networking site 2 years ago. I know that he have 4 children and more than 2 BMs and I never met his children. My BF is popular radio DJ in the area, and I asked him if he has a girlfriend of if he is still married. He says "no" but too many red flags are happening. Anytime we make plans to do something together, "something" always comes up.I don't know should believe him of not, but I don't feel like I'm a GF but a BC. Our first date never happened, he was suppose to meet me for lunch near his job and then "conveniently" his car broke down. Forward 2 years later and I'm still dealing with him. Stupid I know but I have been grown tired of this . Having never met his children, and only seeing me just to have sex, I feel like this is not a relationship, but just sex. I want to end this with him , but at the same time he says that he's in love with me. And that you can have a relationship without doing things together. (?? ) in 35 years and with 3 kids, full time student and work full time. I really don't have time for his silliness.I don't want to embarrass him, because he's known online and on the air. I'm ready to move on. And on Facebook, he don't even list me as his GF, only "in a relationship". :_(
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #2

    Jun 2, 2010, 10:03 AM

    I think you already know what the answer is going to be: let him and the 'relationship' go. Once you make that decision, I think you are going to feel a less confused over where you stand in his life and where he won't be standing in yours.

    The stickies at the top of the Relationship Board (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/) can give you a lot of good information and tips about break ups and moving forward with your life.

    I think No Contact may be a good way for you to get him totally out of your life with minimum fuss to you. No Contact is just that having absolutely no means of communication with the other person including looking at Facebook pages or listening to him on the radio.

    As with any break up, expect to hurt for awhile and question whether you did the right thing, but realize that the hurt in this case is probably from what could have been not what was and healing and finding someone who wants to build a relationship with you is a great thing.

    Good luck.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #3

    Jun 2, 2010, 10:12 AM

    If you find that there are so many red flags, why are you staying around? How many more red flags do you need before you decide to move on?
    jmjoseph's Avatar
    jmjoseph Posts: 2,727, Reputation: 1244
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Jun 2, 2010, 10:48 AM

    Yes, it sounds like he is using you as a "BC"/sex toy.

    Why would you ever allow yourself to be treated so badly?

    That's the question that you should be asking.

    Where is yourself respect?

    Where is your dignity?

    Go find someone who isn't afraid to be seen with you in public.

    Good luck.
    Devorameira's Avatar
    Devorameira Posts: 2,461, Reputation: 981
    Ultra Member
     
    #5

    Jun 2, 2010, 01:05 PM

    Dump him like a hot potato girl!

    You know that it's not normal for a couple in a romantic relationship to not do anything with each other, except have sex.

    He's definitely just using you for the sex. Don't allow him to use you anymore.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #6

    Jun 2, 2010, 01:56 PM

    I don't think you are dating. I think he's having sex with you. There's a difference.

    Move on - and I think you know it's time to do that.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #7

    Jun 2, 2010, 07:21 PM

    All due respect, but stop giving him sex, and he disappears.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #8

    Jun 2, 2010, 07:32 PM

    And of course on Facebook, be sure to post on his about your dating and the such and see if he deletes them quickly.

    Have you never in two years just showed up where he works to surprise him for lunch, Have you never went to his house to have sex at least
    Tiffpie31's Avatar
    Tiffpie31 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #9

    Jun 16, 2010, 06:22 AM

    No I never went to his house, and I have not talked to him . I made the decision to leave him alone and move on with my life. I could be the one to blast him on the radio, but that could cause even more problems. This went on way too long and I have to stop letting men hurt me.


    Thank you all for the advice, I truly appreciate it.

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